An Interview with Mexico's President
Day 653, 16:11
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Rex Object
An Interview with Mexico's President
Ed. Note: Continuing on with his world tour, our hero Rex Object left Mexico without Salma Hayek, dysentery or a rectum packed with heroin-filled balloons, but he did snag an interview with Eisenhorn, Mexico's current president. Due to the crappiness of Google's translator, some of President Eisenhorn's comments were edited for clarity.
On my way to the airport to catch a plane to Israel (with a quick layover in Florida) I stopped by my favorite Cancun meth house, er, café and chatted up Eisenhorn, Mexico's first-term president. As you'll see, he's a man of few words, and interviews conducted in a foreign language can be like removing your first bra; awkward, exhausting and unlikely to lead to anything. Still, I learned a few things, and I hope you do as well.
Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Mr. President. I just have a few questions for you.
Q: Many Americans, including myself, joined this game after the American-Mexican War. How does that war affect Mexico's current relationship with America?
A: The old people don't forget that war, neither will they. The new people do not always know about that war, but when they find it out they get pretty mad with the USA. So, it's a problem but doesn't hurt diplomacy with the USA actually.
Q: The PEACE-GC invasion of Mexico presented an opportunity to seek revenge against the US, but Mexico did not participate. Why not?
A: We don't have the money or the military force for doing that. If we had a big population (maybe like Portugal) or the economy and money, maybe we would, but that was not the case.
Q: What are Mexican citizens' opinions about PEACE-GC? Positive? Negative? Neutral?
A: Positive and neutral in most of the cases. I don't know anyone who has a negative opinion.
Q: In addition to PEACE-GC Mexico is also a founding member of the Hispanic American Alliance. Most Americans have only a vague idea what the A.H.A. is. Can you tell us about it?
A: It is a sub alliance who seeks being more connected and make a more active community with people who has alot of things in common.
Q: In America I am a citizen of average experience. In Mexico I was 51st in experience. What is being done to increase Mexico's population and experience? Are these efforts working?
A: We have the war games, our soldiers go out and fight too. We give jobs to new citizens, etc. but you must consider that 2 months ago we where just less than 300 citizens, now we are more than 1000, so our citizens are pretty young.
Q: This was your first term as President. How was the experience? Will you seek election again?
A: I liked the experience, but it was pretty hard. I will seek re-election in the future, but not the next month, because RL stuff in Mexico.
Q: Part of my mission in traveling the world is finding each nation's best alcoholic beverage. What is Mexico's best drink? Do you have any?
A: Tequila, but I don't drink
Q: Pity. Ok, moving on. Mexico's women are famously beautiful, and none more than Salma Hayek. Can you introduce me to her? I think such a meeting is critical to good American-Mexican relations.
A: I wish I knew her.
So, what have we learned? Mexicans like PEACE, they've more than tripled in size in the last two months, and their president doesn't drink. Personally, I'm not sure which terrifies me the most. Anyway, I'm now in Israel where I'll continue my quest for knowledge, a decent drink, and a nice Jewish proctologist to get these balloons out of my ass.
Ed. Note: Continuing on with his world tour, our hero Rex Object left Mexico without Salma Hayek, dysentery or a rectum packed with heroin-filled balloons, but he did snag an interview with Eisenhorn, Mexico's current president. Due to the crappiness of Google's translator, some of President Eisenhorn's comments were edited for clarity.
On my way to the airport to catch a plane to Israel (with a quick layover in Florida) I stopped by my favorite Cancun meth house, er, café and chatted up Eisenhorn, Mexico's first-term president. As you'll see, he's a man of few words, and interviews conducted in a foreign language can be like removing your first bra; awkward, exhausting and unlikely to lead to anything. Still, I learned a few things, and I hope you do as well.
Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Mr. President. I just have a few questions for you.
Q: Many Americans, including myself, joined this game after the American-Mexican War. How does that war affect Mexico's current relationship with America?
A: The old people don't forget that war, neither will they. The new people do not always know about that war, but when they find it out they get pretty mad with the USA. So, it's a problem but doesn't hurt diplomacy with the USA actually.
Q: The PEACE-GC invasion of Mexico presented an opportunity to seek revenge against the US, but Mexico did not participate. Why not?
A: We don't have the money or the military force for doing that. If we had a big population (maybe like Portugal) or the economy and money, maybe we would, but that was not the case.
Q: What are Mexican citizens' opinions about PEACE-GC? Positive? Negative? Neutral?
A: Positive and neutral in most of the cases. I don't know anyone who has a negative opinion.
Q: In addition to PEACE-GC Mexico is also a founding member of the Hispanic American Alliance. Most Americans have only a vague idea what the A.H.A. is. Can you tell us about it?
A: It is a sub alliance who seeks being more connected and make a more active community with people who has alot of things in common.
Q: In America I am a citizen of average experience. In Mexico I was 51st in experience. What is being done to increase Mexico's population and experience? Are these efforts working?
A: We have the war games, our soldiers go out and fight too. We give jobs to new citizens, etc. but you must consider that 2 months ago we where just less than 300 citizens, now we are more than 1000, so our citizens are pretty young.
Q: This was your first term as President. How was the experience? Will you seek election again?
A: I liked the experience, but it was pretty hard. I will seek re-election in the future, but not the next month, because RL stuff in Mexico.
Q: Part of my mission in traveling the world is finding each nation's best alcoholic beverage. What is Mexico's best drink? Do you have any?
A: Tequila, but I don't drink
😛
Q: Pity. Ok, moving on. Mexico's women are famously beautiful, and none more than Salma Hayek. Can you introduce me to her? I think such a meeting is critical to good American-Mexican relations.
A: I wish I knew her.
😛
So, what have we learned? Mexicans like PEACE, they've more than tripled in size in the last two months, and their president doesn't drink. Personally, I'm not sure which terrifies me the most. Anyway, I'm now in Israel where I'll continue my quest for knowledge, a decent drink, and a nice Jewish proctologist to get these balloons out of my ass.
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Comments
haha, good stuff as always 🙂
anti-alcoholism is definitely the worst illness above all 😛
I don't think the Jews drink.
I got lol's in this article.
Good article, subbed and voted
Great interview!
At least they don't hate us 😛
dang, you didn't ask my question. I know it was lulz, but what the heck we're all here for fun.
Still good.
Sorry jpj: the questions were sent out before I got yours. Right now I'm working on some for the Israeli prez, so if you have one PM me w/it.