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So, Northern Ireland's been lost to the Irish.

This alone worries me more than anything Argentina are doing. Why? Because the Argies know that they won't be able to hold onto any territory they seize. They'll give up after they think they've made their point. As will Ireland if they win Scotland. But every patriotic Irish person, I think, dreams of a united Ireland, with himself or herself as eRep's answer to Michael Collins. The point being, they'll fight tooth and nail to hold onto Northern Ireland.

Like Argentina with their Falklands-related axe to grind, Ireland are incorporating RL history and politics into their ideological assault. Articles like this demonstrate that clearly. I suppose we can't blame them; Irish nationalistic thought is intrinsically tied to anti-British sentiment, and that's for a good reason I suppose.

So how do we get back Northern Ireland and end these silly Irish notions of unification? I don't say reunification because unlike IRL, this region started British.

I propose we start a new military unit. We don't need to bolster up our existing ones, they're powerful enough. This needs to be a force of willing individuals who aren't afraid of getting stuck in. The first order of business is a name, and I had a few ideas.

Well, we all know that the province that contains Northern Ireland is called Ulster. So while we need their name to reflect where they fight, in the interest of brevity I propose the name include the word Ulster instead of Northern Irish.

But what about the rest of the name? Naming things is always the difficult part. Well, budgets are tight, and we want people joining to know that they won't be paid or supplied. They're strictly volunteers. So I think that word should be in the title also.

Also, we need them to have a fearsome reputation. The police lost theirs when they stopped being the Police Force and started being the Police Service, so we definitely don't want to follow their example.

With that in mind, I propose we name our unit...the Ulster Volunteer Force! We can shorten it to UVF if you like. Like the Inglorious Basterds in Germany, we're gonna be doing one thing, and one thing only. Killin' paddies.







Look at us! Don't we look sexy in our combat gear? Join today!



Disclaimer: This is somewhat-edgy banter at the expense of our Irish conquerors, the author wants to point out that he is not, repeat NOT really a sectarian bigot.