A rebuttal to unfounded slander from a member of the living impaired.

Day 945, 18:22 • Published in USA USA • by Necrosis

My opponent in the congressional race in Florida recently published a smear article, aimed at ruining my very good name. Personally, I was very offended by this – why, I spent an entire nanosecond weeping manly tears; that right, I’m so manly I weep biceps.

Now, he made 5 points, two of which are the same; we can see from this that Devoid obviously suffers from some cognitive impairment. As such, I think it is reasonable to assume that he is not fit to lead.

The first, and fifth point made, is that I am British. This is not strictly true; I am English. I have no desire to be lumped in with the drunken Scots, the bestiality loving Welsh, and the Irish of the north. However, with this being world cup season, and me having a lot of supporters, if I were to lose, there is the chance of a riot. Now, America has tens of thousands die a year to gun crime. England has below 100. However, we have about 20,000 deaths per football game. Thats proper football, the one with feet.


We do love a good riot

Also, your women love the accent.

Secondly is the outrageous implication of causality from a correlation. As a scientist, I implore you, the intelligent Floridian, to consider what that means. Thats right. Devoid is in fact incorrect. If he were to be elected, congress would be even worse. The last thing we need is another person who is always wrong. We’re still recovering from the hell of the last one, we don’t want more.

Oh, and on the issue of deportation, I always thought America was a country which tried to deport immigrants and failed miserably? Some states are better than others, but this is a systemic problem, one which I will fix in the next month when you elect me.

I am a proud Dioist, and I have followed the words and actions of the God Emperor devoutly for over 900 days. I have committed my heart and soul to the sand in his name. My religion has no effect on this election, and is instead the rhetoric of the scared liberal who lurks within the badly drawn caricature that is Devoid.

I would respond with a few choice points about Devoid, but I am a man of integrity and honour, so I shall not.

I will instead let the voters of Florida back me up.

Also, devoid is a butt, pass it on.