A Major Promotion: Comment Contest
Day 1,245, 14:33
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Chutley
POSITIVE THINKING
Today I was promoted to Major. Thank God - there’s so much I couldn’t do as a minor.
Here are five examples:
5. Legally carry a Q1 gun
4. Go to eRep strip clubs. They’re somewhere, right?
3. Get eMarried, though I still have no idea what that means.
2. Gamble away lots and lots of gold.
AND
1. Use the “/me smokes cigarettes” action in IRC
ON THE OTHER HAND
Having sex with juniors is now statutory rape. Although I still play with Privates…or at least their parts.
Leave a comment about what else I can do now that I’ve been promoted to Major. Best response gets a Q5 tank – assuming you can drive it.
Generous Caveman!
Today I was promoted to Major. Thank God - there’s so much I couldn’t do as a minor.
Here are five examples:
5. Legally carry a Q1 gun
4. Go to eRep strip clubs. They’re somewhere, right?
3. Get eMarried, though I still have no idea what that means.
2. Gamble away lots and lots of gold.
AND
1. Use the “/me smokes cigarettes” action in IRC
ON THE OTHER HAND
Having sex with juniors is now statutory rape. Although I still play with Privates…or at least their parts.
Leave a comment about what else I can do now that I’ve been promoted to Major. Best response gets a Q5 tank – assuming you can drive it.
Generous Caveman!
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Comments
I feel so liberated
lol, voted
lol
you can get yourself a real ID instead of a fake one
(yea, im not good at this)
You can sign your own dismissal note from school and leave whenever the heck you want! 😃
You can now get a diploma studying yourself
Kinda going along with what you said, but you can't get raped.
you can do your mom.
(thats not a serious answer, that's an "anan zaaaa xd" answer)
well, you can send me few golds if you want.
You can make a few bucks selling donations at the sperm bank!
You can sign your own LOAs now.
You can now LMFAO instead of merely LMAO without raising eyebrows.
Post messages that elicit an endless array of rubbish from mentally inferior people?
I wish my article on inane comments was still up.
As a major, you can now order yourself around and not feel bad when you don't follow
You can give the commies real hell. 😉
Well, you're old enough to fight and die for your country, but not yet old enough to drink beer.
Gotta love the USA.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon” and “ravelin”,
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”,
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery;
In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy,
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You can now play yourself in bright major keys instead of those depressing minor ones. If you were a piano.
Well, it's a MAJOR improvement for your pathetic eRepublik career.
Can you have an eRep career that isn't pathetic?
Quoting Gilbert & Sullivan's Model of a Modern Major-General, 3rd verse (edited), are we Phoenix.
Yes
Ok you know a good thread when George Pumpkinette and Phoenix Quinn start busting into chorus.
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