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"This Soldier deployed to Iraq gets a "dear john" from his girlfriend back home in the states that says, "I met someone and we're in love. So I'm afraid that I can't wait for you any longer. I hope there are no hard feelings. Please return my pictures."

The soldier is hurt and pissed, so he goes around to all of his comrades and gathers all the unwanted pictures of females that he can find. And send them in a letter saying, "Hiya Honey: I can't remember which one is you, so please take your pictures and send the rest back. Best of luck and happiness."

Oh... and I got this email one day about 20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity. It cracked me up:

"1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 Weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the Memo Field of all your checks, write 'For Smuggling Diamonds.'
7. Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance With the Prophecy.'
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. With a serious face, order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To Go.'
12. Sing along at The Opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When leaving the Zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling 'Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
19. Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the Economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'
20. And the final way to keep a Healthy Level of Insanity ... Send this on to make your friends smile."