A Bed Time Story For All the little Boys and Girls

Day 1,164, 22:28 • Published in USA USA • by Joe Newton



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Let me also tell you children about a time before time when America was invaded by Columbia!

One day, America and Canada were just chilling at the malt shop, and Indonesia came up with his friends Russia, and England, and France, and Portugal, and they were all. "Hey you two fgts, we're gonna drink your milkshake!

And we were like, "Oh no you're not! Oh -no- you are NOT!" And so the rumble began. And, well. They did. They really did. Most of it.

Canada's milkshake got all drank up, mostly by England and Russia, but America totally had Canada's back and agreed to share, even though we only had a little bit left too!

And then Emerick came around, and he wasn't yet a convicted criminal, and the baddies had bought some milkshakes too, since they drank most of ours and we were defending the last bit viciously!

Also, they'd previously stolen the money from Spain. Well. Kind of. Spain forgot he lived on the first floor and had a nasty habit of leaving his money clip on his open windowsill.
On main street.

So, Emerick goes up and is like, "FINE, HAVE OUR MILKSHAKE." And as they were gloating, he punched Indonesia right in the tit, and stole -their- milkshake, Bruce Lee style. While Russia was suddenly whining about the low blow, it also received a kick to the testicles, and similarly, had it's milkshake stolen.

The American people were now rife with milkshakes, but it was still not enough. Suddenly, while America was planning our next move, we found ourselves headbutted right in the junk by a little midget we'd later learn was called Columbia. Ironically, his nickname was Low Blow.

Anyway, in the end, a quick punt to the midget again put us on the track. Spain had a bit more money squirreled away in their sock drawer, and so they helped pay for Canada to get some more milkshake of their own, too. Their method was different than ours though, they punched a hole in the bottom of England's cup, and before England knew it?
No milkshake left. Bwahaha

And soon, all things were back as they were. Russia and the others were again left without their milkshakes, and the Brothers America and Canada, entirely innocent, blameless and victims of nothing but rampant aggression by a pack of bullies, showed courage in the face of all animosity.

And those milkshakes were the best they'd ever tasted.

*History of the eWorld, according to a really old guy*



Credit to Apnea for coming up with that all.