Join the new world

Hi unless you are reading this from bed you have already passed the test and should probably stop reading this.

I don’t know who pottermore is but I’m incapable of editing photos and I loved the dog so meh.

Still here? Seriously the dog was my best material….. Alright onto the list.

5. Staying in bed gets boring well on your own anyway.

Seriously staying in bed is so boring think about the last time you couldn’t sleep you were annoyed right now imagine that in a morning too the only difference is now you need nothing from the bed the bed has done its job but no you’re just abusing it by giving it more work in a morning too.


4. Nasty things hide under the bed.

I’m not talking about these,

Although if you have these you should probably do something about it.

I’m talking about these bad boys,


Scary things exist under the bed it a dangerous place only ever visited my Mr Hoover.

And to do it with a smile too this guy is a badass.

3. X exists.

For me this consists of 4 things.


BACON!!!


CHOCOLATE!!!


And 2 other things….

2. Finite possibilities

Yer not infinite possibilities but enough. Chances of me traveling to space and back today are pretty low and even in my lifetime it's pretty slim.

I’m hopeful…

I could be walking down the street and find a fiver.

Times happene😛 1

One of my enemies could be destroyed by one of my fiendish plans.

Times happene😛 3 yer don’t mess with me.

Or I might discover a new awesome food.

^cheese wrapped in bacon.
Times happene😛6 (cheese, bacon, sausages wrapped in bacon, cheese wrapped in bacon, donner and chicken kebab with garlic mayo, chicken tika curry & garlic naan).

1. What’s the alternative?
If these 4 reasons haven’t moved you (seriously what’s wrong with you there’s bacon) then just imagine the alternative.



Oh and the obligatory sexy picture.

sex on legs seriously!