[UKGOV] PM - Peace in Our Time...

Day 2,147, 21:26 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by 10 Downing Street

…..yeeaaahhh right.

Greetings UK



First of all I would like to thank you for electing me to my second term as Prime Minister, and to be your tenth PM this year. I have a few things to discuss in this article, particularly some of the Ministry shenanigans that will be going on and the subject of war.

Right, so I’ve been a little busy getting settled into Number 10. I have had to bring in the cleaners even! There were a lot of Beer cans, Wine Bottles, strippers and, most of all, hair to clean out. I can still smell a bit of wet wookie, but we are almost there. But don’t worry, once we got rid of the few drunks left over (I am looking at you Wayne!), we are about back to normal.

After getting invited to form government by HM Woldy I, I was soon on my way to pick up the Ministry keys from Emergy. Unlike last time I was here, they all worked first time! Glorious!


HM was pleased to hear from me

Anyway, lets get onto some serious business shall we? I was looking for ways to torment give work to my Ministers. It was suggested to me by the lovely Mittekemuis that the Ministries compete for quality points against one another with each Ministry being awarded points on a case by case basis.


Ain’t Mitte lovely?

Each Ministry will have access to 250 points per week ending on each Monday.These will be awarded out based on how each Ministry operates, and will be separated into categories. These will be a fun category a recent opinion poll suggests we are not fun enough. Apparently the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is planning to do a ‘wheres Boh’ which I hope gets of the ground, and, importantly, I get to find myself! The other category will be on serious business and doing what they should be doing, as well as doing it with quality and style. Now, the Ministers thought I was joking when I said I would do this...I wasn’t. I will finalise how this all works over the coming days and start awarding points complete with a leaderboard for the public to view. You can even pick a Ministry to back, such as Team MoD! Or Team HA.



Now, onto what you actually care about: War. Well, I was reading these articles about how the people wanted war. I considered granting your request, but, well, as the evil dictator I decided not to.

However, you all have my apple to thank. I was eating it today and I thought ‘damn this is crisp, tasty apple - just the way I like it!’ When it turned to...something indescribable inside. Made my guts wrench and I needed a small nation to thump. So Norway is getting thumped over an apple.


Norway vote being passed

Right-ho, lets discuss our military strategy, this being open government and all. First up we have to let you know that we will most likely not win the first attack on Norway. Or the second. The reason being is that those Vikings have got themselves a rather fancy shield. Like the Belgian one. So we are going to have to break it over a course of battles rather than doing it in one go.


Norway hides behind their impressive shield

This means we are planning that the war will last around 5 campaigns, including their retaliation, before moving into resistance wars. Here is a diagram detailing our master strategy taken from Whitehall.


Red are our attacks, we will probably need three. Read from the top down.

Should it last longer, blame Jamesw. I hope thats all clear as mud, it certainly was for our military buffs Max Blue and Schmidt Bogdan.

Cheers
Bohemond4
56th Prime Minister