[ZW] AH, I'LL BUY IT AT A HIGH PRICE
AgentChieftain
─ ℤ𝔸 · 𝕎𝔸ℝ𝕌𝔻𝕆─
───────── 時 · よ · 止まれ ─────────
ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Gentlemen, allow me to present to you, the disciples of Dio Brando and the soldiers of mighty Pakistan, the offers I have received for the corpse of Emerick.
Firstly, I have the offer from Katharos45, a Greek bro who has been our ally since the times of Phaedrus the Great:
"I'm going to take it with me to greece to be buried at Heraklion... Heraklion is a cursed walled off place. we will sit him by Cappelli_king, the most notorious greek president. Even better, we will put him below cappelli. After that, his soul will be trapped in a curse where his worst nightmares come to life, and his soul will not leave. he will also have to listen to Capelli explaining why making 4.3 million GRD was a good thing, and he can't talk back."
Here is an offer from Sir Reshev Villanova, High Priest of Brazil and cross-dressing commissar of hambaga:
"If you get no response from USA, I would like to receive Emericka's body for analysis. Please, send it to our MILITARY LABORATORY FOR ADVANCED HAMBUGA in BROZIL."
Two more requests came from marquis.esoteric, a historian concerned with the struggle of true Heeros against the corrupt Canadian Captains. The first request was fairly straightforwar😛
"My Q5 toilet broke. I am requesting the use of Emerick's body in the meantime while I pray fervently to Dio that it gets fixed."
The second, however, was a telegram (!) with a sense of urgency that I received late last night:
SIR MARQUIS.ESOTERIC DIOIST REPUBLIC OF PAKISTAN
TO THE SUPREME PRIEST OF DIOISM ISLAMABAD PAKISTAN
REQUESTING IMMEDIATE USE OF EMERICK'S DIGESTIVE TRACT STOP
CANNOT INTO TOILET STOP PRIDE POWER PAKISTAN STOP
MARQUIS.ESOTERIC
Finally, an offer was received from an unnamed man from Nigeria via email:
"I REQUIRE CADAVER TO SPONSOR A TWO WEEK CRUSADE IN A REMOTE AND FETISH VILLAGE TO RID IT OF ITS AGE LONG FEMALE DEITY BELIEVED TO BE EATING UP FEOTUS/EMBRYO MONTHLY FOR SACRIFISE.MANY ATTEMPTS TO GET RID OF IT PREVIOUSLY HAD SOME RESULTANT FATAL EFFECTS ON THE TEAM BUT NOW,REKNOWNED MEN OF GOD ARE WILLING TO COME WITH ME IF I AM READY.VERY STRONG MEN OF GOD EVEN SOME FROM GHANA."
I couldn't help but notice the trend of increasing caps lock in these requests, especially in the email from the Nigerian fetish crusader. As a matter of fact, I'd like to visit this remote fetish village, more so than the haunted Greek city or the Brazilian military laboratory. Pardon my lust for female deities, but it sounds like a fun night out.
On that note, I bid you farewell.
ℙℝ𝕀𝔻𝔼 · ℙ𝕆𝕎𝔼ℝ · ℙ𝔸𝕂𝕀𝕊𝕋𝔸ℕ
Copyright © 2008 ZA WARUDO. All rights reserved. For questions or technical support, see here or contact the editor.
For print copies, back issues, and official merchandise, order online at our store or call +ZA WARUDO NEWS (+92 917-836-6397).
Comments
xD
But I want his body!
We need to perform tests to find a cure for the Swedish swine-flu.
🙁
😃
marquis's toilet and the cursed greek grave where pretty good options imo
<3 AC
I hope I win.
the cure for swedish swine flu is sand
@Anonymous
People would try to travel to Pakistan to get the antidote. But thislaso brings pigs disguised as humans, or half-pigs(canada) or Iranians.
TOILET IS FIXED
BUT EMERICK STILL BETTER
Agent, I didn't know you had a penchant for female deities, we should hang out sometime.
i was in favour of marquis offer...
but his toilet is fixed.
oh wait a sec.
are u still demanding him or do u wanna give him to greece
>i was in favour of marquis offer...
but his toilet is fixed.
oh wait a sec.
are u still demanding him or do u wanna give him to greece
He would not give to GREECE, but to the cursed greek tomb. big difference. Enough snow in greece these days.
that's brilliant
>Agent, I didn't know you had a penchant for female deities, we should hang out sometime.
I'll see you at the remote fetish village.
>but his toilet is fixed.
EMERICK MOUTH STILL MUCH BETTER
THOUGH STENCH JUST AS BAD
I have but one lord and master and his name is Bob Boblo
PRAISE BOB
>EMERICK MOUTH STILL MUCH BETTER
THOUGH STENCH JUST AS BAD
It is time to visit my bro marquis.
>I'll see you at the remote fetish village.
I am there at least once a month for the fetus sacrifices.
Phoenix is and always has been scared of Emerick since he became President and tricked Indonesia 😉
Is... Pakistan... jealous?