[存在感系列报] YOU KNOW YOU'RE CROATIAN WHEN (给eCroatian的， 无中文翻译，有福利）

Day 1,231, 02:29 • Published in China USA • by TigerG

Here is something for the eCroatians who moved to eChina now due to the recent unfortunate events. I found it somewhere, and hope that it would bring some happiness into your elife.


"
YOU KNOW YOU'RE CROATIAN WHEN

All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient
"Vegeta"

You were still in elementary school the first time you got drunk

You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer)

There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2 year supply of Brandy

You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away

The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian

English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes them Croatian..."play-ati", "study-ati"

Your Dida mowes the lawn in knee high black socks and sandals

Your Dida has a shot of Rakija for breakfast

At least one family member makes his own wine

"Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure illness and as a massage lotion as well

At the age of 13, you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals and dances

Your parents were at the function where you got drunk

The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they aren't your relatives, you refer to their parents as "Teta" and "Striko"

You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Skola"

"Kuhace" are not only used for stirring when cooking...they are also used by Mama to beat you when there is no "siba" handy

At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and your parents said "Samo probaj"

Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion

When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same
warnings(regardless of age): -"Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavu", "Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da ja sta cujem"

Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow Mama will know before you make it home

Mama gets pissed off at you for bringing home McDonalds saying, "sta ce ti taj junk?"

Your parents insist that you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from "fakultet"

Lunch on sundays have more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner

You know that in addition to fruit flavoured Jello, that gelatin can also be prepared with pigs feet

You love "pasteta", but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch
because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was

There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA

Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher

Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand

All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in english so that the serbian people won't find out you speak "their" language and start trying to be your friend.

You have at least one short-wave radio in your house

You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the klupa in church on Sunday mornings

You live with your parents until you are married

Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough

When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u pizdu materinu"

Baba and Dida wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons

Dida and/or Baka spits into a napkin at the dinner table

Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene

Dida & Baka insist you are quiet while he watches the news even though he doesn't understand a single word they're saying. Regardless of the fact he doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on in the world than you do

You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from Mama and Tata as you were growing up

Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!"

Everything that goes wrong in the world can somehow be traced back to Serbs

Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing

Your relatives in Croatia think it's strange if you are not married by the age of 18

You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland

You are only allowed to speak Croatian at home

You have 17 consenants in your name and only 2 vowels

Your 13 yr old sister can out drink any Amerikanac

You cringe when you hear the word BATINE and hide

Your parents still prefer buying cassete's over cd's

No one can pronounce your last name and every kid on the block has a
nickname for it

A CROATIAN wedding consists of a minimum of 1000 people, 2/3 of which you don't even know

(I hope some of you can appreciate this)



"

Disclaimer: I did not write this, and I apologize if I offended anyone by posting this.　Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasures.　Also, don't forget to look for the dosd order and shoot your load at the battle specified while looking at the pictures.
这个不是我写的。看不懂的没关系，　我也没看懂。　但是福利图绝对是能看懂地～～ 请在看之前检查战场，　按 国防部指令，　在指定战场边看边射。










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