[VP] PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT [RELIGION]

Day 2,181, 17:40 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Marmaduke IV


The following is a public service announcement and reminder to all citizens.

I'd like to welcome back to the national stage Lord General Grimstonious Plutonious III, Hero of Kvatch and savior of the people of Middle Earth. His glory rained down upon us today in a golden stream of happiness that echoed through the night from coast to coast of our grand empire. With the guiding hand of our Dear Leader, we can crush our forsaken enemies below our feet as we tread on their bones.

But my people, our enemies are many in number. They come from many lands and speak many tongues. But united we can silence their inane banter, we can slice the tongues from their mouths and ram them up their nether regions. Some may enjoy this.

Our hearts may be heavy in these times of peril, but remember who we are. eSouth Africans. Our phallus are heavier and shall smack all those who deny us our God-given lands.

A plague of greasy, black shithawks has been flying overhead the past few weeks, dropping their greasy goodies on all who tread below. The foul stench of blasphemy wreaks through the halls of our homes, businesses, and courthouses. This disease is known as Dioism.

This is a friendly reminder that anyone caught worshiping a deity other than the Holy Mother Eugina Sanford, savior of eSouth Africa and founder of the University of Harvad, will be severely punished for their sacrilege.

All citizens should be on the lookout for Dioists and report them to your local marshal's office or dial
1-800-TREASON for anonymous reporting. There is a reeducation camp set up next to the Atlas Mall in Boksburg Gauteng where you can drop of your friends and loved ones for preventative education.

For your own safety, please do not approach Dioists under any circumstances, but be on the lookout for any and all signs of Dioism:
- Talking about Dio
- Thinking people care about Dio
- Spamming Dio articles that noone cares about
- Cryptic, idiotic comments on articles
- Slack jaws
- Unintelligible middle-eastern accents

Together, we can fend off the Idiots and prevent the desecration of our Holy Mother. Do your part for God and country.




~The Honorable Arch Bishop Dr. Marmaduke Exilious Alphonso IV, Sr, OB/GYN
Vice President, eSouth Africa
Religious Scholar, Harvad University
High Lord Captain of the Knights Templar
Master Mason
Creator of Hip Hop Music
Inventor of the Question Mark
British Petroleum Premier Rewards Member (over thirty thousand points)



Just a friendly reminder to our Turkey friends that Mamado is still a cheater and Mamado is still banned. The glory of the Holy Mother has brought down her judgement upon the stain on the eWorld that is Mamado and nothing will reverse the course of action that has been taken by the overlords of our universe.

Any person caught praising this cheater is to be immediately executed, their body drawn and quartered, per Order 66 enacted by Supreme Chancellor of the Republic, Lord Grimstone.