[UNREAL] SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR Q1 BREAD!!!

Day 682, 09:57 • Published in Indonesia Indonesia • by Wonder Forward
In my country, the level of respect for newbie development had reached its zenith.

It had been a common saying that we even had to polish newbie's shoes, make delivery for him (if not raining bread and butter from the sky that admin had to change their rules), and most profoundly teach them a good lesson (not hitting them per se but getting hit by a barrage of absurd to Zen-like questions).

So, one day, I saw this pair of mentor and newbie was waiting of their break fast time (nearly 00.00 time). They are both really really hungry. The mentor was hungry for bread and steak, while the newbie was hungry for knowledge and attention.

So, by the time the clocked clicked to 00.01, the newbie kept nagging his mentor with torrents of questions. Now, this mentor finally lit his fuse and roared, "SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR Q1 BREAD!!"

Now.... Now... If you see those pair in my country, you will be flayed and whipped and creamed with salt and honey, swarmed with bee and other Qing-dynasty punishment.

But for me, I find it hard not to sympathize with the mentor.

You see, sometimes really annoying and nagging newbie (if existent) needs to be taught to know their place.

I will tell you my own story with a naggy newbie.

This newbie was awesome, brilliant. He was like a sponge, he could hold off knowledge 5 times his body mass and experience points. But he kept pestering me with questions, which because I am a sort of newbie minister I have to answer politely.

He asked me, "Why do Indonesia go to war against USA?"

I answered curtly, "Because they are enemy!"

"Why are they enemy?" He asked me with his round round bambi eyes.

"Because they allied with Fortis and Eden and had tried to harm our country several times in the past!" I mentioned French Toast, Portugal Invasion, Mexico War, blah blah.

"Why do USA attack those country?"

"Well... frankly, I don't know. Maybe for fun, or for economic reason... Or maybe because they are bored..."

"Why are they bored?"

I am starting to get annoyed, "Because erep doesn't give so many features... the game mechanics... the political... economical... ideology.... blah blah..."

"Why erep doesn't give so many features?"

"Because they are browser game!"

"Why are browser game has not so many feature?"

"Because they are free to play!"

"Why they are free?"

"Because if they are NOT free, I won't play this game!"

"Why won't you play this game if not free?"

"Because I have no money!"

"Why do you have no money?"

"Because I don't pay attention to my work and school..."

"Why don't you pay attentuon to your work and school?"

"Because... Because I have no life... I am a net-addict... I wish I could turn back time before I know this game..."

"Why do you have no life?"

"....." I couldn't answer that. Frankly it was the God-She-Bang Zen question!

A silence brimmed on, till the student seemed to dart his attention back, passing the Satori moment ignoramusly, while I struggled inside out, outside in with my pain and belief and erep....

"Why do you say you are not sure why USA attack those countries?"

"SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR Q1 BREAD!!"
Yeah, that does it. And I sympathize with all the mentors and newbies around the world for their patience in learning eRepublik.

You can really get so much fun and so much life and death here.

Ah... Zen...