[UKRP] Wut r u doin' UKPP?
Gali.
I am having twenty-seven brain aneurysms
Ah the Congress elections, the perfect time for friendly bantz.
Recently, many members of the UKPP are under the illusion that they actually have a good Congress list. This may be due to the new UKPPPPPPPPPP, CrispyDragon, brainwashing them into voting for the UKPP, and thus filling Congress with a few good Congress members, and a lot of mediocre ones.
I'm writing this article in an attempt to save eUK Congress (if we have it, the Yoof are on their way). In order for us to succeed in elife, the nation must understand that the only Congress list worth voting for is that of the UKRP.
Every month we put up an outstanding Congress list, so I'm writing a comparison of the best Congress list, the UKRP one, against an incredibly overrated UKPP Congress list.
Teh Grand Analysis innit
The analysis will be set out so that each UKRP Congress candidate will be compared with their equivalent UKPP candidate.
#1
Fataliix
Eternal UKRP emperor, Fataliix, is very popular within the Reform Party. He has been in Congress 5 times, so has a good amount of experience there, and has always, in my experience, made a fun and intelligent addition to parliament.
Fata has never made any big cock-ups (I think), and his place as #1 on the list is definitely justified.
UKPP
#1
Mad Pauly
Mad Pauly has made a good new addition to Congress. Pauly is a generally good player, who knows what he's doing, and I think definitely deserves a place in Congress. However, should he really have been put so high up in the list? I'm sure everyone will agree that giving Fata first place in the list is a good idea, but should such a relatively new addition to politics be put at the forefront of the UKPP list? I don't think so. First place in the list should be where the party's best Congress hopeful should be, I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that UKPP must have more seasoned candidates than Pauly.
UKRP
#2
WookieO
We all love a bit of Wook
😉. That stands true when it comes to Congress. Whilst he hasn't been the most active contributor to Congress discussion this term, he is one of the best politicians of the eUK. With two terms as CP, Wook has more than enough experience to make a great Congress memeber. All considered, Wook definitely deserves to be high up on the list.
UKPP
#2
THE EMPRAH
THE EMPRAH is an incredibly quiet member of the eUK. In fact, I think I've only heard him speak once, which was a shout. Whilst he must be a good politician to be so high in the list, and be such a big part of the UKPP, is it really justifiable to put someone so quiet and seeming inactive at second place? Compared to Wook, this isn't the best judgement from CrispyDragon.
UKRP
#3
Billy Randall
Billy has made a huge entrance into the eUK and UKRP community, and is looking to be an extremely promising player if put into politics. Generally, new players are expected to get involved in the eUK community for a few months before being put into Congress, Billy has done really well in this aspect, and with this in mind, Billy's position at third place is a good move from Massa.
UKPP
#3
Pugg
Pugg is another player who I have heard very little of. According to CrispyDragon, "he gave an impassioned response to my initial run for Party President and was not afraid to question my intentions, or motives.". This sounds good, but is that really a legitimate reason to put him at third place? Pugg is also a newish addition to politics. It could be said that both PPs are taking a risk by putting such newish players so high up on the list, but I think Billy is a risk worth taking
😉.
UKRP
#4
Rob the Bruce
Rob is definitely a good player to be put into Congress. With 12 Congress medals to his name, Rob has a huge amount of parliament experience and defo knows what he's doing (Especially his newspaper).
UKPP
#4
Gego Gugula
I have genuinely never heard of Gego before. Apparently he's very experienced in eUK politics, so that's a plus point I guess. Gego is very inactive, and I'm not sure why, when there are good, active candidates further down in the list, he's in fourth place.
UKRP
#5
CptChazbeard
Chaz, current dictator hopeful, former CP, and six time Congressman. Added to this wealth of experience, Chaz is very active, publishing relatively frequent (compared to some UKPP Congress members) articles and often taking an active role in the community. Chaz has been active in Congress discussion this term, and will continue to be into next term. A good decision from Massa.
UKPP
#5
Mr Knee
One of the most experienced and well-known candidates in the UKPP list, Mr Knee should probably be placed higher. Mr Knee is active in the community in and out of Congress, and is definitely worthy to be placed in the same position as Chaz (Although he's not as cool). Mr Knee is one of the redeeming figures in this UKPP Congress list.
UKRP
#6
gali2332
Well, that's me. I'll try and do this as modestly as possible...
Only joking.
Gali is one of the most active, enthusiastic and friendly members of the UKRP. Having been a UKRP Congressman three times before, and with experience in the government, Gali knows what he's doing in politics (mostly). Always trying to represent the UKRP well, Gali basically embodies the modern UKRP.
All in all a good decision from Massa to put Gali into Congress.
(Speaking in third person to retain a little bit of a sense of modesty, and a big sense of insanity.
UKPP
#6
Ser Fartsalot
SerF is undoubtedly one of the most active and dedicated members of the eUK. He may be one of the most unfriendly people you'll ever meet, but serF is never afraid to speak his mind, and has a lot of experience.
SerF's not the most popular eUKer, but all in all a good decision from Crispy Dragon.
UKRP
#7
Lionbeard
Lionbeard has done a huge amount of work for the UKRP in the past, and is a great inspiration for me and many other eUKers. He's made a recent return to UK politics, and is undoubtedly one of the most experienced players in the game. Quite a good decision from Massa imo.
UKPP
#7
Tangbod
Tangbod is another decent politician placed too low in the list. I'm not really sure what Crispy was thinking when he put a lot of mediocre candidates at the top, with so many good ones close to the bottom. Anyway, Tangbod is a solid choice for Congress, but Lionbeard and UK Reform win in this case.
UKRP
#8
Cyg XI
An old player returned in a new form, Cyg is quite experienced. Whilst...
Ok, so I come back and completely forget what I'm doing, BUT I'm sure you'll all enjoy this charming picture of everyone's favourite CharlieBoy
Haha, now that's over I can sit on my little pile of gold.
I'm running for UKRP PP!!
Vote for me so I can literally merge into the UKRP, post Horrible Histories song lyrics and assemble the greatest Congress list of all time.
Can you spot future me on the right?
Tl;dr (You'll really need this)
-UKPP Congress list is overrated
-UKRP always puts the best Congress list up
-Vote Gali4PP and UKRP4Congress
-Feck the lot of ya
-Apologies to anyone who felt a bit upset by the previous line, PM, I'm better than a bad Samaritan
🙂
-Gali2332
-UKRP Councillor
-Captain of the HMS Abrantes
-UKRPPPPPPPP Candidate
-now they cant feel lonely
Comments
Well the ending of that analysis fucking killed me.
Gego Gugula is alright, though I've noticed he can occasionally come out with some weird stuff. If I was UKPPPPPPPPPP I'd have swapped him and SerF's places around.
Not that it matters, THE YOOF ARE COMING
Yep. Our parties are definitely dating.
I try to hide it, but I sometime think UKPP have a really, really great community.
sometimes*
They have some good members but outside of PN, Pauly and CD, I can't really think of any that are really great. I'm not trying to think of them though, so there might be some!
Since we split off of UKPP it has had a constant rotation of new active players that have gone quiet, only to be replaced. Mr Knee would be the exception to that.
I'm not in the UKPP...well, not "officially" 😛
Yep Gali, I also sometimes think that about the Reform party...but then I see you :/ 😛
Cyg pretty much ran the NHS, I believe. I don't know, I never used it. Dude knows what he's doing though.
He did for a while. I worked under him for a few months back when he was in charge.
Shhh. Noone's supposed to know. Don't want That Uther Party gettting jealous 😉
Serious criticism:
If you're pretty much guaranteed 8 places for Congress does it matter if you're 1st or 8th? No, it has no impact whatsoever.
Taking that into consideration, half your article which focuses on "should they be so high/low?" is debuked.
Nonetheless, a good propaganda article o7
Exactly! o7
"Wook definitely deserves to be high"
Damn right.
Can't be the Fata though.
Seriously, that except in Massa's article? That was nothing compared to my whole story.
Beat. Excerpt. I shouldn't write comments when I'm dying to go piss.
I spent days writing mine.
We do have more seasoned candidates than me. Just shows how good UKPP are when we can field a second XI and still beat you 😉
*Cough cough*... oops, sorry, hairball 😉
Why do you insist on licking me?
Mistook you for a fellow cat. My bad...
STOP MAKING ME SEEM GOOD YOU PRICK!!! also I'm drunk as fuck right now so....
VOTE UKRP