[UKPP] View From A Cosy Corner Next To The Fire
Day 2,646, 06:03
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Published in United Kingdom 
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by
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by Mad Pauly
We've seen one of the nastiest Party President elections here at UKPP Central, with accusations of takeovers flying on both sides. Despite my vocal (and unsolicited) support for our new Party President, I have tried to avoid taking part in the mudraking and muckflinging that has brought colour and activity to the party wall for the first time in... well, as long as I've been around. Rather, I've added support to those comments by voting those with which I agree, and kept a watching brief over developments.
So it's all over and CrispyDragon won, though given the continuing war of words between Dapper/V/Bruce Wayne and his friends and the anti-Dapper alliance led by fomer UKPP PP Wayne Kerr and former eUK CP and current MoFA SerFartsalot, you'd think the election campaign was still ongoing. Just when I thought I might be able to curl up for a little for a week or so before the Congressional elections...
What have we learned then, from this campaign?
Dentists Aren't Bad
Does she look scared of a dentist?
The Royal Army Dental Corps was born out of a rift within the leadership of the Royal Navy, many turnings of the moon ago. The RN had traditionally been linked to UKPP and many of its members were drawn from the political ranks of this great party. Thus, many of the Dentists, including Wayne as well as our new PP CrispyDragon and multiple congressman Mr. Knee, have strong historical links to the UKPP and have served the party well over the years. Some people consider the Dentists a vile PTO organisation. I disagree. Despite all of Dapper's protestations, CrispyDragon would have won comfortably in the PP elections even without the support of SerF, Wayne, FightAndProduce and the Dental Corps, all of whom he accuses of an attempted PTO of the UKPP.
Yes, Wayne Trolled Us
Wanted for trolling
And it worked. Sort of. Since Alfa's disappearance, the UKPP were left floundering like a narwhal in three inches of brine. The party was slipping in membership and in danger of becoming complacent and turgid. When Wayne came along and stood for PP, we welcomed him with open arms; after all, hadn't he just led us to victory against all odds against an alliance of six nations during his stint as CP? Didn't he deserve this last accolade, this opportunity to lead the party which had seen him grow to the man he is today? With no serious competition for the position, we duly lined up to elect him.
Then along came his "Awesome Ninja" theme. Some among the party were horrified - gone was the old name, usurped by this upstart.
The party congress was filled with Dentists and the party wall actually came alive. People started getting active again; anger over the party name change had actually caused them to wake up from their torpor.
Yes, there was that unfortunate incident with "proud and horny" eUSAians in the months to come. Oh come on, eUSA. We're really not interested in how you want to procreate with anything and everything. This month saw scandal in congress with the resignation of three (count 'em) UKPP congressmen including the elected PP following accusations of abuse of congressional power and a failed Presidential bid which included mudslinging and disappointment for BC in the Country Presidential elections, after which he headed off for a holiday in Maine following his defeat by Adastros. But at least the party was active again.
So congratulations, Wayne. Your plan worked. Sort of.
There's A Blacklist
You don't want to be on here
And you don't want to be on it. It was originally written by Alfagrem to counter PTO activity and has only recently resurfaced, maintained by SerFartsalot. It lists people who are believed to be working against the interests of eUK as a whole. Those on the blacklist will find it difficult to garner any support for any kind of future political office. Allegedly.
#24/7 Is A Badge Of Honour
This is a rational number
Who would have thought that 3.42857 would have been the number to wear? Intended (I presume) as an insult, this little tag has been claimed as a positive by those of us who fought to keep the UKPP out of the hands of Dapper and his friends. As numbers go, it's not one I would have chosen (I prefer e personally) but yes. I can live with being about 3/10 more than pi.
We Are All Wayne
Even this oscilloscope is Wayne
That's right. Although rumours that we are all really Noel Edmonds have been bandied about recently, these are just hoaxes to lead you away from the truth. You are Wayne. I am Wayne. We are all Wayne (apart from Noel Edmonds).
Time for work...
Since I'm here, I might as well keep you abreast of the latest mongressional matters.
VAT & Import Taxes: Weapons increased to 99% - voted for
Why would you want to import shoddy weapons anyway when you can have good old British killing power with our all-new bonuses?
VAT & Import Taxes: Food increased to 99% - voted for
We may have a shitty climate but we'll still have a damn good go at growing our own bananas!
MPP with the Netherlands - voted for
Another renewal, plus the Netherlands are allegedly a nice place to chill.
MPP with Turkey - voted for
Can't recall whether this was just a renewal or thanks to their little disagreement with Georgia. Hopefully all sorted out now.
MPP with Mexico - voted for
Because burritos. And it'll probably annoy the eUSAians.
Natural Enemy - Norway - voted for
Ooooh, a war is a-brewing! Well, not really a real war. Just a pretend one so we can [strike]steal[/strike]rent their banana plantations.
Now can you keep the noise down on that party wall? I've had a busy day and need my beauty sleep.
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Comments
My methods may be unorthodox, but in a roundabout way, they work!
I was told RN now had no ties to UKPP at all
That would be correct, though there still are RN members in UKPP (like me, for example). The RN has no political ties.
The RAF became a de facto UKPP MU for a while, though the clash of personalities between Abaddon and BC put an end to any real party MU. I left the RAF for the RN thanks to this (and other reasons).
How many Waynekerr points did you get for this ?
Dentist are PTO group 24/7 nutcases
Crazy people
You talk so much sense how do I join your team. We could create an anti-DC group and show the world how crazy they are
None whatsoever. I wasn't looking for kudos. What I wrote was a personal view of recent events, written in what I hoped was a vaguely humorous manner.
Then again, given your recent rantings on the UKPP wall, a sense of humour seems to be something you lack, Bruce...
Stop insulting my darling Bruce. He is a saint and someone we should respect
I wasn't aware that stating that someone was lacking a sense of humour was insulting. Unlike, for instance, casual racism, personal slurs and blatant accusations, such as can be found on the UKPP wall from a certain "saint".
One interesting part of these elections was when some people called CrispyDragon a PTOer, I mean LOL, I joined the party when Alfa was president, Crispy was a UKPP Congressman then (I guess he was in the party for a long time at that time), I even voted for him for the Congress list then...it took him long to plan and conduct this "PTO" 😃
No his part of the PTO group he was given 1st spot after waynekerr PTO us and renamed w.a.n.k. he was also given a party role
http://i57.tinypic.com/r1c58n.jpg
As I said to you before, I remember that period well...when Wayne became PP he decided to give top spots to his friends and unit comrades, Crispy was already in the party, he is in DC, well, logically he will on that list. that is why I didn't contact him when we were organising ourselves for the next PP elections to change the name back, etc...but during the time after that I realised he is OK, I even gave him the title of "spokesman" during my term.
Also he was a congressman before Wayne...
Interesting piece of history, the month before I was meant to be top of the Congress list, but the then PP (I forget his name) didn't organise the list and I fell down the rankings. DC put me at the top in retribution of the slight against us.
Yes, yes, I remember that, Sir Robert was his name, or something like that, his profile is dead I think, all in all he didn't arrange the list.
When the Party was PTOed in OCT this is what happens all congress spots when to Dentist this evidence dont lie
http://i57.tinypic.com/r1c58n.jpg
as you can see Ser Farts was awarded for his part in the PTO with a spot !
Again, for that you should blame Wayne 🙂 Maybe I'm wrong that I defend Crispy, maybe I'm right, all in all the the Congress elections are near and you people will see what will the list look like.
DC PTO TUP in july 2014 using same players
http://i59.tinypic.com/16aqznn.jpg
They are PTO group
Not Crispy 🙂
Nor Mr. Knee, who as far as I am aware has been as loyal to the UKPP as anyone.
You'll never be able to convince him otherwise i'm afraid for in his world if you don't agree and march alongside him you're the enemy that has been lied to, brainwashed or are happy to go along with it. Remember he doesn't like having his past brought back to the surface I mean who'd want their part in the attempted PTO of the country or the fact that whatever party he happened to be in consistently had members removed for being multi's, even one who was a congressman(one of his alter-egos). As soon as you bring any of that up he tends to resort to abuse and temper tantrum/meltdown
Q: You know why the likes of Dapper, BA, Goku et all usually turn up after their own plans crash and burn and why UKPP is usually the starting location for any attempted comeback?
A: As UKPP has always been DC's historic home with most members of the MU having long association with the party - by taking over UKPP then it is an attack on DC with the notion of they have stolen something close to DC's collective hearts. By attacking internally the party, they are trying to force DC to respond to them and give them credit as people worthy of respect on the proverbial battlefield.
I'm not sure I would agree 100% with that, Mr Knee, I think a part of it is due to what you say, but Dapper has been interfering in UKPP since before DC was even born. John Bull, the original New Era stole many a UKPPer when it was created.
In my opinion, it's more to do with UKPP's very nature. It's always been an outcast party of sorts. It's very inception went against the grain of the eUK political scene at the time. Thankfully, most of eUK have now finally seen sense and have followed in UKPP's trailblazing ways. We as a nation focus less on petty meta-gaming and focus more on playing the game mechanics to get the best outcome. UKPP is a major factor in that.
It is this, I think that attracts the Dappers and BA's of this country to it. UKPPers are more likely to go with an idea based on it's merits rather than who proposed the idea, couple that with a preference in activity and what is seen as a weakness in it's 'leadership' and it doesn't surprise me that they target it for new recruits. Not to mention it's sheer size and voting capacity.
What they never seen to learn though, is that UKPP never goes quietly into the night. We are a damn sight more hardy and have more balls then TUP. Instead of whining and retreating into it's shell, UKPP take sh*t in it's stride and come out fighting.
Funny thing, I always through DC were bad, I don't know, I guess because of Wayne maybe, but as time passed when I was talking with some of them (not just from the UKPP) or asking some of them something I never had a problem with anyone, realised I'm talking with some reasonable, interesteing and polite people...all in all good that Crispy won.
People mistake our straightforwardness for rudeness. If you are not a bellend, then DC have time for you. We have many supporters throughout the eUK, people that understand what and who DC are. We also have many haters, people that don't understand what and who DC are. They tend to make up things and focus on the 'bad' side of DC.
My disappearance was due to fatherhood btw 😛
P.S I concur with this recording of history.
Congratulations!
Fatherhood is definitely harder than a full-time job, so I genuinely and wholeheartedly wish you luck. o7