☺Trolling-101☻ -Semester 2-

Day 757, 13:13 • Published in South Africa South Africa • by Exilious
It has come to my attention that the term "trolling" is being improperly thrown around here in eSA. So sit back and prepare for a lesson in trolling, Africans!



The Basics

Trolling is a kind of prank and a lost art form, full of failed attempts and people who don't even know what trolling is.

Most ignorant newbs think that trolling is merely someone getting in an argument, or a fight, or attacking others. However, people do this all the time on the internet when they're not trolling. Trolling that does this is obvious and usually fails. People who think everyone who disagrees with them is a troll are so easily trolled that they'll fall for Concerned Mother. A skilled troll can just appear to cause no conflict and agree with people and do it in such a way to provoke everyone else into a shitstorm.

The internet is full of people that think just being internet trash makes them a real troll. Acting racist for lulz is trolling but simply being a racist is not. Acting as stupid as Christian because you really are that stupid makes you a lulzcow and not a troll. If someone goes and slips razor blades inside the hamburgers of little kids and goes "haha you have been trolled nublol", despite being hilarious, that's not trolling, it's being a psychopath and a poser.

The most important thing that any troll should remember is not to believe in what you are saying, and be comfortable with telling made up lies whilst avoiding the truth or any factual details about your own life because not only are these boring, they could be used to identify you (unless, of course, you also lie about the details of your life.) To avoid the onset of troll's remorse, follow this technique and just lead them further down the avenue of trolling, swallowing your bait hook, line and sinker.



A Brief History

The Bible writers were the OTs (original trollers). They were so damn good people are still RRRAAAGGGGing over that bullshit today.

Quite possibly one of the lulziest cases of historical trolling occurred in 1857 in the British colony of India. The British included native-born soldiers, both Muslim and Hindu, into their army, and then royally pwned their asses by putting pig grease on the bullet cartridges for the Muslim soldiers, and cow grease on the bullet cartridges for the Hindu soldiers. These are paper cartridges, mind you, and every soldier was trained to bite open the wrapping in order to pour the gunpowder down the barrel. It was later recorded in the respective holy books of the two religions that every one of these soldiers burned for eternity in hell.

Much lulz ensued until the Hindus and the Muslims found out and staged a revolt. Then the British killed them all, and even more lulz were had by all.

In the early 1700s two English writers, Trenchard and Gordon, trolled the English government with their Letters to the Editor, that were collected and published as Cato's Letters. These were extremely popular in the colonies and provided some of the arguments for American independence. Without trolling, America would not exist. In fact, U.S. courts have found that trolling is a Constitutionally-protected right.




Tips and Tricks

●Always use proper grammar and spelling. Failure to do so will result in the obvious retort.
Choose an insane idea and STICK WITH IT. Ignore all other arguments and any other form of logic or common sense.

●Christians trying to jump-start The Rapture.

●Use many sock puppets to try to convince everyone that someone at random is a troll.

●Use people's ignorance about IP addresses to your advantage.

●Posting offensive links or images and claiming they are work safe

●Using the word abortion in a sentence

●Making a conservatism post in liberal comm or vice versa

●Be a famous black rapper at the MTV Video Music Awards, wait for some random white girl singer to win an award and then say, &quot😢White Girl's Name), I'm really happy for you, Imma Let You Finish but (Random Black singer nominated) had the best video of all time."

●Sprinkle "citation needed" tags into user comments on Wikipedia talk pages.

●Posting an offensive image as the userpage for a new user via administrative means and then locking the page so it cannot be edited.

●Even making the suggestion that racist stereotypes are, in fact, with merit.

●It is possible for one to troll by pretending to get trolled. Furthermore, it is possible for another to troll by pretending to be trolled by the one pretending to be trolled. The vicious chain continues on to the point where all are trolled simply by trying to follow and understand it.



Congrats! You are now educated in the art of trolling! Remember:
1- You must always do it for the lulz.
2- You're a troll, nothing and no person can hurt you