[Stilpo] My Revalation
Stilpo
Ladies and gentlemen, I finally figured it out - I figured out who krakken must be in real life.
First, though, I need to tell you what happened that led to my stroke of insight. After having vowed to leave the game for good and successfully staying away for the last six months, a few nights ago I got drunk and logged on to eRepublik. I melted down all of my companies and training grounds, donated the majority of the money I got from it (330 gold) to the state treasury and used the remaining 40 gold to create my own political party. It was an absolutely frivolous and unnecessary expenditure but it made me happy and I figured that at least I wasn't hurting anybody by it -- especially since I didn't even plan to use the party for any serious political activity. In fact my intentions were just the opposite: I created the party to be a haven for the neutral and the non-political. It was supposed to be an assertion of my independence, and it was created largely in response to the stacks of messages I found in my inbox from people telling me to join their party or vote a certain way and other partisan appeals. I just wanted a place where I could hang out and be myself during my retirement (at least until the admins delete my account), without taking sides or getting dragged into petty feuds. In this spirit I named the party the "McGillicuddy Seriouis Party", modeled after the real (former?) satirical party in New Zealand. As it states on the real party's Wikipedia page (to which I provided a link to in the party description), the McGillicuddy Serious Party was a "joke party" that "provided 'colour' to ensure that citizens not take the political process too seriously". Its platform included obviously satirical policies such as "free dung" and "full hedgehog sufferage" and "good weather (if the voters behaved)".
Ok, so maybe not the best idea in the world - I was drunk when I created it after all - but either way it was something I had created with my own resources and it obviously posed no political threat to anybody. The party icon alone should have made that much obvious. Imagine my surprise and chagrin, then, when I logged on a few days later and saw that someone else had joined my humble party and was running for party president. If this person had more experience points than me and all else stayed the same he would be the default winner and would take the party away from me. "Who could possibly be a big enough a-hole to do something like this?" I asked myself in despair. "And why?!?!". It just seemed so utterly pointless and inexplicable, like something right out of Dr. Seuss' "The Grinch Stole Christmas".
Then I clicked on the link to see who it was that was doing this to me. Lo and behold, the heartless PTOer turned out to be none other than our very own Releasethe Krakken.
At first I was genuinely confused. Things must have really changed in the six months I have been away. Wasn't RTK always just a harmless troll with an unfortunate habit of typing before he thinks? Didn't he actually used to be one if Ireland's most outspoken critic of thieves and PTOers? As someone who has built his reputation largely through his loud and insistent claims of moral superiority, how could he possibly think PTOing my party less than a week after I created it (and essentially stealing 40 gold from me) was a good idea?!?!
But then it finally dawned on me. Maybe krakken isn't just a harmless troll after all - maybe he is in fact a full-blown grinch!
After all, trolls don't actually steal from people, do they? They may be shameless attention whores, but they are not thieves and PTOers. Grinches, on the other hand, do steal from people. And they usually do it out of spite - often after spending a lot of time in a proverbial cave somewhere, out of touch with the rest of society and grumbling about how shitty everyone else is. Sound like someone we know?
But if I learned anything from the Dr. Seuss when I was a kid, it was that a strong spirit always triumphs over evil. So go ahead, krakken, steal the only thing I have left in this entire game if you must -- it's yours if you want it. And while you're at it, you might as well take some candy from a baby or beat off to some good old-fashioned murder porn. You seem like the kind of person who might be into that kind of thing. But whatever you do, I refuse to let your petty, spiteful, grinch-like deeds pollute my memories of Ireland after I leave. Instead, I choose sing in celebration of the good times I have had playing this game and the amazing friends I have made here.
Ireland, if you are with me, or have ever been a victim of krakken's senseless hate and spite, please join with me in chorus:
"Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze!"
I just hope that someday krakken experiences something that will cause his heart to grow to a relatively normal size. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.
But until then, stay strong Ireland. And don't let krakken get to you. We're all in this together.
Signing out for the last time (again),
-Stilpo
Comments
Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze!
The black hooded guy? never heard of him..
Never trust a hooded guy
If only somebody would love him ;_;
Kurgi loves him, the "brother way" you know xdxd
Their friendship is so strong they take turns to drop the soap
Well its an underhand way to take a party over, Why not do the right thing RTK and move on and leave the party in its creators hands.
this is very rich nogin. tell me what happened to revelations206 under whose control is that org now?.
lol that was funny. actually yes i want to be leader of your party. if you consider that a pto i dont know why . its not really that your party is going anywhere. well as politician i like to keep open my options and have a spot to run for cp perhaps. you could always get other members to fill your party i certainly wont. of course when you leave the party wont be accessible otherwise. lastly did i say you couldn't be pp again. but small parties is just disposables. coyolzx took over another smallie i took etc etc it wasn't like you gave me anything when you disposed your industries ,so dont know why actually i should feel sympathy for you. also you never was very friendly with me so dont know why we should change that know. but i doesnt mean i will be at your party long. as i will definitively try and snatch another congress medal.
but the above was very funny i laughed very hard at that.
the music was a good touch, don't you think? 🙂
also im no 10 now guess your theories about strength backfires on you when it gets to party leadership.
yes your 10, but i'm number 6, i too could change partys if thats how your going to play it.
you could if you wanted to im mostly just resting there for a few days . the more the merrier.
resting does not involve running for PP, do the right thing and move on now
Well I am kind of bored of hopping from party to party and dont see why I should make stuff easy for you get more members and win the pp elections. why do you want to be alone in the party. and why cant i be president of it and continue its work. who will continue the legacy of fair weather for voters once you pack it in.
maybe if you weren't such a "great asset" to the parties, you could stop moving around. Others would talk to you, you could feel welcome there, and try to generally add something positive to anything.
of course my christian brother 😉
I didn't see you at church this morning....
for those of you who haven't figured it out yet, krakken is one of my multis
now i am not according to colin fox i am public enemy number 1 😃 stop crying i might take down that pic as someone will obviosly be reporting us for that once im in charge.
voted and stuff o/
\o
Krakhead isn't even a good troll. Just a professional victim trying to draw attention to himself.
My mistake, I thought he was a freed slave.
boated
So glad to see Stilpo back.
i hear you will be joining me in retirement soon
welcome 😃
Don't encourage him Stilpo 😛
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Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze!
And stay you bastard..
Stilpo, I joined your party to vote for you.
I won't stay long, just long enough to vote out THE BOY.
Click Here and help someone ! http://wisdomphrases.blogspot.com/
Hypocrisy at it's finest, voted.
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You splitter my party was the original joke party!!!!
You know, the reason he's so angry is because his organ is two sizes too small
ain't the only thing two sizes too small bow chick bow wait a sec.....
Stilpo, no offense to your revelation but RTK is not a grinch. A grinch can be redeemed. RTK is just a butt. 8P
Everyone con be redeemed. In fact he appears to have even taken the first step in his recovery!
😛
www.erepublik.com/en/party/grinches-anonymous-4802/1