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Our dashing hero stood and admired his work.

He stood a little more.

What a great job he'd done laying that shag pile carpet in under three hours. He was chuffed, and the new beige sheen given off by the furry phenomenon brought a small manly and heroic tear to his eye.



Mmm pile.

Now all that was left to do was hang the door and he would be able to settle down for the evening and enjoy a nice warm mug of unbranded malted drink. With a quick jig and a spectacular thrust the door was rehung. He was pleased with his work and another manly/heroic tear emerged from his eye. Bring on the malted goodness.

Things then took a turn for the worse. Evil forces were were circling. For on attempting to shut the door he was thwarted. It was a catastrophe.

He had taken care to check and double check measurements and clearance. How could this be? He fell to his knees and cried out no one in particular cursing his luck. How could he now taste malt and glory?

He jumped to his feet, tore off his shirt and strode out into the garden. Again overcome with pain he sank to his knees once more cradling his face within his large godlike hands.


Pain. Suffering. Emotion

Just then an aeroplane flew overhead drowning out the anguished cries of our fine specimen of a protagonist.

Then clarity.

Then salvation.

Then our hero noticed he'd been kneeling in something the cat from next door had left behind.

A quick trouser change and he returned to the thread of our narrative and grabbed his large toolbox. Salvation was just below the novelty screwdriver set he'd received for his last birthday. Praise be it was found!




Passed down from father to son, here in our heroes hand was a wood plane.

Quick as quick thing the lead character in this short story removed the door from it's hinges and began to plane. He planed for several mildly taxing minutes easily taking half an inch off the wood effect portal. It was an awesome and rousing sight. Some would say it was akin to brave pilots fighting an awesome aerial battle. This author would say it was better.

A smile emerged on our heroes handsome face. He sat upon his reasonably priced Tidafors sofa admiring his now fully operable door hanging just above his soft, inviting shag. He let out a long satisfied sigh and took a deep hard sip of his malted drink.