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Ok as your minister of red button I’m in a position of responsibility which makes what I’m about to tell you very difficult indeed last night around 4am the button was depressed…


What Happened
Ok so I was getting rather drunk last night and I had a few of the spamican crew round Chaz, Horice, Moriarty, King Woldy, Invalidation-(fresh from our night of illicit passion) all this was of course to welcome our new member GameChanger and well any excuse to have a party.


So we were all getting very drunk, in retrospect the drunk twister was a bit of a sausage fest and I was very unlucky at the keys in the bowl game that Horice suggested I should have known invalidation would never pick a bike lock key (facepalm).

In my defence it’s a good bike

So we were very drunk by 4am and I was admittedly asleep leaving the red button unguarded and I woke to an alarm.

Not any alarm though my Red Button depressed alarm…..

The Culprit

CHAZ Yes I saw him running from the button he was screaming something about the apocalypse and he escaped into the night.

I’m offering a reward for this man of £20,000 DEAD OR ALIVE preferably dead so I don’t have to deal with a trial. I really need him found quickly as we all know the stature to limitations for pressing buttons is 7 days. After 7 days I won’t be able to try him and I’ll probably just go back to being friends with him. He maybe hiding with Waynekerr (+1 vote) so check there.

The Fallout[//b]


Ok now there is good news and bad news first the bad news
WE LOST NORTHERN IRELAND.

And the good news
THE REST OF IRELAND WENT TOO.


Ok it would appear we were keeping all our nukes in Ireland and the whole place now doesn’t exist, the ground sunk into the sea and all land became sea meaning all the Irish are dead meh

Bye guys.

We are very sad about the 1 guy we had guarding Northern Ireland though to be a doctor by the name of Hugh Jardon he’s not dead but he has been irradiated and now maybe exhibiting certain mutant qualities like a being blue, being furry and an insatiable hunger for cookies he is also said to be very disagreeable and pissed off although they maybe pre-existing conditions.


My Future
You would think I would have to resign my post as MoRB now the red button has been depressed but I shall not be doing that because I would still like to receive the pay checks and I also need a new kitchen which I shall be claiming on expenses.

Please vote and shout this article we must inform the masses of this man hunt.