[MoP] Peas in our Thyme

Day 2,940, 12:03 • Published in Canada Canada • by Kaminarinote

A message from the Minister of Propaganda

I must admit, I have a soft spot for the eUSA. They were very kind to me so long ago, shortly after I decided to betray the eCanadian community with the words "USA? A-OKAY". The Federalists were particularly kind, even though I repeatedly referred to their leader as the Sliver Queen, both in public and private. They gave me a chance, which is something most eCanadians won't even do most days, and let me become a member of SHIELD and be a member of their media department. This may not stand for all Americans, but in general they were quite kind. Hoplite in particular, what a sex god.

Now, yes, traditionally they've invaded us repeatedly, wiped us without mercy, publicly derided our community as backwards and silly, made no attempts at reconciliation, humiliated us, schemed against us, attempted to politically take us over multiple times, and siphoned members of our community off like an alien spaceship...but other than that, the relations between our great nations have been no less than cordial and friendly. A lesser government would see the weakness in the American community as a positive thing, a delightful schism that can at best be exploited and at worst made for comedy fodder. Not this regime! We here in the December 2015 cabinet value our role as partners in North America, and take it seriously.

To this end, the following offer is open: any American living in fear of the strife their country is currently experiencing is welcome to defect to eCanada! We have good food, warm beds, and - surprisingly - political cohesion. Like Operation Paperclip, your talents can soon be used for mutual profit. Come one, come all! This is your chance to begin again, in a golden land of opportunity! The grass is greener on this side. And to my fellow Canadians: join me in revelling in this chance for closeness! Look upon the American situation as a challenge to be overcome, and be grateful your leadership is strong enough both to keep the nation together, and welcome these refugees. Other than in every way possible, the American is not so different than you or I. Think of them as our goateed cousins to the South. The chance for kind-hearted hegemony is here, and it's in our hands to make it so.



- B.L