[MoE] Pt. 1: The Dark Pre-Dawn of Education

Day 2,610, 05:11 • Published in Austria Austria • by exkrementensammler

Long ago, before the advent of civilized man, there was no such thing as formal education. Education began, like all things, wild, free, and dangerous. Sharp things cut, hot things burned, and "scary big thing with lots of teeth going to eat you watchout watchout" ate you. However, it soon became evident that this informal, experiential type of learning was doomed to failure through attrition.

At this time in history, education was limited to short bursts of important information, delivered after the experiential learning had occurred. Unfortunately, these bursts often resulted in bursts, due to the unfortunate timing necessitated by experiential learning. As a way around this, early man soon devised a cunning educational technique which became known as "oook!". Using the newly devised "oook!" technique, these primitive hominids were able to indicate that experiential learning was about to occur, so the student had better be paying attention. This is demonstrated in the following, fairly standard educational example:

Scene fades in as Zook looks around, and spots a tiger.
"Zook!" Zook exclaims, pointing at the tiger.
The tiger eats Zook.
Scene fades out as the tiger plays tug-of-war with Zook's esophagus.

In this educational example, Zook was only able to benefit from experiential education. See how badly it turned out for Zook? Now examine what happens when Zook is able to learn through the "oook!" metho😛

Scene fades in as Zook looks around, and spots a tiger.
"Oook!" points out Gook.
"Oook?" Zook asks, pointing at the tiger.
The tiger eats Zook.
Scene fades out as the tiger plays tug-of-war with Zook's esophagus.

In this educational example, Zook learns a valuable lesson - "oook!" means, "Watch out, that tiger is going to eat you." In this way, Zook is able to learn a lesson through non-experiential means. Of course, Zook does not know that "oook" means this, and must learn it experientially. While this is not quite the sterling success it might seem, it laid the groundwork for more advanced educational techniques.



cheers
Harzakc, MD
Minister of Education