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[Mewsnight] A Look At UKPP Congress Candidates

Day 2,773, 21:12 • Published in United Kingdom

• by Mad Pauly

Jeremy Catspaw takes a look at the UKPP congressional candidates, and despairs.

Out of all of the top ten UKPP candidates, only three have been in congress more than twice. Of those, Dartheleven was a member of the British Sovereign Party (now the BDP) and the British Army (now in the Royal Navy) so one might suspect his loyalties lie elsewhere. What's more, his only active media presence has been from Ireland, over 5 years ago! BaronChris has been controversial in the past, especially with that incident with the "Proud and Horny" Americans, but nonetheless stands out as one of only two reasonable choices in the list, along with THE EMPRAH.

Two on the list - Viscount Weybridge (who is suspiciously high on the list) and Argon4 - have no congressional experience. BlackDeath 87 can thank Prince Will.I.Am for his sole term, while the others have limited congress experience (though UROSZero did stand for CP back in July of last year, placing last in the election which saw our treasury stolen).

TL; DR? UKPP Congress List probably the worst ever.

Edit: Prince Will.I.Am has since reordered the list. I really can't be arsed doing another set of pictures. Suffice to say that the reordered list is potentially worse.

Edit again: Doesn't really matter anyway, we can't vote and will have no "official" congress. What was that you were saying about game mechanics, Billy-boy?

Comments

King William the Great Day 2,773, 21:52

lol. Why don't you help instead of insulting everyone?

and FYI the list is going to be tinkered with. I just wanted to remove a few unsavory chaps for the sake of appearances.

Mad Pauly Day 2,773, 22:53

Perhaps you don't understand satire. Perhaps, if you actually listened to people in the party with experience, and didn't act like the petty dictator that you are, I would actually respect you. Perhaps if you'd put people who actually do things in congress rather than sit there silently and polish their shiny medals, I wouldn't criticise your list.

As it stands, putting two people who have no congressional experience, one of which has not been active at all that I can see, at the very top of the list is either incredibly naive or incredibly suspicious.

Stand down from the leadership of the party, leave politics and you might just recover a modicum of respect from some.

Luke Braferd Day 2,774, 01:13

enlighten me about the game mechanic please. I still don't understand! 🙁

Mad Pauly Day 2,773, 23:15

For those others of you without a sense of humour, please note that this article is satirical. No offence or insult is meant towards the good people of UKPP, including those unfortunate enough to have been selected in Prince Will.I.Am's particularly poor congressional candidates list.

But seriously - if you intend to stand for congress, PLEASE get involved. Post articles. Post on the party wall. Post in congress messages. Make yourselves be seen and heard. Surely that's all part of a politician's job? Don't just do it for the sake of a shiny medal which, under a dictatorship, gives you nothing but the opportunity to say "Look, ma, I'm in congress (even though I don't actually do anything there)!" Otherwise, you just open yourselves up to criticism such as this, whether satirical or not.

TL😉R? Don't stand for congress if you're not actually going to do anything there.

Fataliix Day 2,774, 00:00

I get along very well with BaronChris when he's actually active, but as he's only actually done anything 3 of the last 14 days I'd have to toss him on the inactives pile.
Not that there's much point debating this with Willy. He pretty openly admits that he's punishing his critics. Yey. \o/

Mad Pauly Day 2,774, 00:09

Yeah, BC has been on holiday recently, which might be a valid excuse for some inactivity.

CrispyDragon Day 2,774, 02:58

Gotta agree, BC is a nice fella. Always courteous and polite.

HebronGazelle Day 2,774, 00:54

After messaging King Willy he believes the apartheid in South Africa wasn't such a bad thing (along with other crazy nonsense), I'll send you the screenshots if you want. Obviously any list with him on it is going to be a horrible list.

CrispyDragon Day 2,774, 02:59

I'm gonna have to ask for screenshots. I cannot believe someone would be so dense as to say that.

HebronGazelle Day 2,774, 03:45

When compared to what the current government is doing in South Africa, should I add. I have no idea what he is referring to the current South African government doing though, and it is still such an idiotic thing to say.

I sent the screenshot to someone (of all the messages between me and King Willy) and I've been asked to do an article. Then I wont keep having people asking me to send the screenshot.

King William the Great Day 2,774, 10:30

lol. I said I don't agree with everything done under that government. The management of the country was much better than it is now. They had good fiscal policies, didn't allow radical leftist social policies, was an ally against the Soviet Union, etc.The ANC is a joke, and the current President is an utter disgrace.

Mad Pauly Day 2,774, 10:52

Bit like the UKPP is at the moment then - a joke with a disgrace for a party president.

CrispyDragon Day 2,774, 11:22

Ouch, that was a stinger.