"Knowing your enemy is half the battle" An info-packet about Lithuania.

Day 1,972, 11:45 • Published in Finland Finland • by Dogen Boole



Capital: Riga
Population: 2 200 000
Area: 65 000km^2
Ethnic groups:
74% Lithuanians.
20% Russians.
6% Neanderthals.
100% Slavs.



History.

The History of Lithuania dates back to the year 666 when the first Slavic tribes founded the village of Riga, near the Gulf of Tallinn. A few years later however, the settlement was raided by genetically superior vikings known as the "Pure and handsome Aryan people of the great and almighty Sweden", leaving the Lithuanians extremely butthurt and causing a huge inferiority complex among the Slavic tribes of the Baltic.
In the year 1939, just when the Lithuanians hit the bronze age, Lithuania and the other Baltic states were annexed by the Soviet Union. A Year later, a new communist flag was designed which is still used as the national flag of Lithuania. Lithuania,along with Latvia and Estonia, managed to gain independence in 1991 when the Soviet Union collapsed. During these times, the Baltic states received huge amounts of financial and political aid from Finland which helped them to get back on their feet after years of soviet oppression.

Culture.
uhh....

Economy.

The economy of Lithuania is based mostly on stealing and the sale of stolen goods. Lithuania's import consists mainly of cars stolen from other countries and export consists mainly of the sale of those cars to Russian markets. Kaunas is a major economic center in Lithuania, and it houses the biggest marketplace for stolen goods in the world.
The stolen goods originates mostly from the Nordic countries and Germany, which are the last countries in the EU that haven't yet understood that the future cooperation in the European Union is based on stealing from other European nations.

Geography.

Lithuania is famous for that 47% of it's area consists of garbage dumps. Lithuanians are also extremely proud of their highest mountain "Paskavuori", which can be seen up to a mile away in good weather conditions. Paskavuori mountain also contains a huge amount of natural resources, such as scrap metal and rubber. Russia has tried to annex Paskavuori numerous times during the last few years for these resources.


*This Info-Packet was brought to you by Professor Dogen Boole.*