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Paul Proteus Sighted
Day 2,324, eUSA
According to recent reports, former American citizen, notorious eSwiss spy, and breakfast food enthusiast Paul Proteus has been sighted logging into eRepublik, shouting drunkenly in the streets and lurking on the local IRC. According to our source on the street, Cromstar: A disheveled Paul "appeared out of nowhere" and was "super creepy." Many other concerned citizens reported similar incidents as well.
Paul Proteus, shown above, is considered irrelevant and dangerous
Many of our readers will recognize Paul Proteus for something or other he did during his over four years of playing eRepublik, before disappearing suddenly late last year, though upon questioning, our expert on fictitious quotes Malarkey83 replied only with "Paul who? I'm confused, who are we talking about, do I know this guy?"
And as Paul Proteus, according to all reports, died some time ago, there is a very high possibility that the Proteus you meet today is zombie, whether or not he is interested in feeding on human brains remains to be seen.
While Paul Proteus was unavailable for comment, it seems more likely as time goes on that he has returned to eRepublik and will not be leaving for some time, and while his plans are uncertain, we would like to implement a Proteus "Red Alert", Proteus may be found online at any time, and is likely contagious.
As of last sighting, Paul was seen trying to pawn his medals and ranting about the impending death of his "RL".
In other news, I'm back. See you around~
Real article, or April's Fools, you'll find out next week on Cliffhangers!
Protip: I'm back
Your Moment of Zen:
That's it for today, see you around, I've made a huge mistake
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