[Garmr] Presidency Preparation Program

Day 1,648, 17:03 • Published in Netherlands Poland • by Garmr

Dear fellow citizens,

I am the goddamn batman. I am your Aladeen.


This is why I am happy to announce that I will run for president of the Netherlands for a fifth term.







I am not an outsider or extremist looking to rebuild this country. For over two years, I have aided in the development of our country and helped shape it into the country it is today. It would be odd for me to suggest major changes in current policy. However, there are always some minor details one would like to change when seizing power.


Contact between citizens and the president
I believe our contact could be improved. It is hard to see how many citizens we reach with the current information system, and therefor this will be something I will examine as part of my presidential preparation program. I will send a message to all citizens which will, among other topics, include the provision of information to the general population. Another part of this message will question the citizens on what they believe should be changed in the country.

Dealing with the plague
Sadly, it appears that the plague has struck once again and stole our provinces. During an excellent offensive, our current cabinet regained Southern Netherlands on Hungary. What is left is a pink cloud in our other provinces. It is unintelligent to try and plan things on our own against this much larger adversary. I will see which opportunities shall come on my path and shun neither the diplomatic or military approach.

The cabinet
I already hand picked several special appointments that will enrich our Garmrocratic Nation of the Soon Fully United Netherlands.
Minister of Soun😛 Dick Dastardly
Minister of Music: Missing_no
Governor of Suriname, Dutch East Indies, Guyana, Zeylan, The Southern Netherlands, Taiwan, South Africa, New York and the ABC-islands: MaartenW
Head of the Secret Police: Auggustus
Procurer of Women: Luuklag
Defender of the Eastern Border: Ilphen
Planner of presidential banquets: Joep Onstenk
Presidential Whiskey Importer: Bockson
Taster of Whiskey: Epix

Obviously these are the most vital positions for a glorified motherland. Those who disagree will be deported to the Balkan, a mythical place where people can only complain and the epicenter of all stupid battles and alliance problems.

The minister of music will pleasure your ears and the procurer of women will make sure something else is pleasured as well. The planner of presidential banquets will make sure there is beer on our lips while the defender of the eastern border will keep the pink menace at bay, eager to cowardly leech from our utopia. And when our little nightingale Dick 'Telo' Dastardly starts to sing, our head of secret police will make sure nobody else will speak.

Oh, and if Kosovo can be Serbia, I am damn sure that Indonesia (better known as the Dutch East Indies), Belgium (better known as the Southern Netherlands), Taiwan, Guyana, South Africa and New York can be Dutch! And while we're on that topic, be sure to add Sri Lanka (better known as Zeylan), the ABC Islands and Suriname as original Dutch provinces as well!


Now you may think this is a joke, but it is the core of my campaign.

Free our people
Regain our provinces
Conquer our overseas provinces


Stand by for more articles, in the next one you will be informed on the procedure of getting menial jobs in my cabinet as counter of the coins or polisher of tanks.


Your friend,
Garmr



P.S. Fat women will be deported
P.P.S. The secret police will come to your house if you post a negative comment