[Department of Fun] Le Spectacle Royal

Day 2,304, 20:32 • Published in USA USA • by Aeriadne

For this first part of reading, would you kindly click this link? Are you listening? Good.

What Is Fun?
In ages past, when times were glum and dumb, there existed an initiative on behalf of the executive to create a specially tasked department. Working day and night, around the clock and around the world, these brave and bold souls picked through the threads of time and space to unlock one great, inner secret which past presidents had hoped would grant them unending power over both the masses and those who would oppose them. This great force, this amazing and indomitable power, came to be known simply as: fun.

Their task was the hardest ever set upon an research and development team in the history of forever, for how were they to quantify such an unquantifiable object as fun? Under the Minister of Fun, the Department labored away in secrecy, identifying and labeling different kinds of fun, discovering knew funologies, and avidly testing different concoctions and compounds of fun on unwilling subjects. Most were driven mad by the process, while a few of them were driven glad.

And then mad again.

Now, once again, this vague and austere property had been given unto me by none other than our Commander in Chief, Gnilraps. Dubbed Minister of Fun in a lavish and succulent ceremony attended by all the cabinet, he tasked me with once again discovering the meaning of this long illusive concept.

I have taken to it with aplomb.

And now, if you would kindly either finish listening to the first movement of Vivaldi's Spring or simply stop it and then click on this link here, we can continue onto part 2 of the article, which is...



SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAYYYYYYY!

WITNESS THE BEGINNING OF THE EPIC AND BARBAROUS CLASH OF YOUR FAVORITE EMERICKAN NAMES! WATCH FORMER PRESIDENTS FILLET ONE ANOTHER,
MEDIA GIANTS TRAMPLE THE OPPOSITION,
AND GOLD BEASTS SUMMON THEIR ANCIENT AND RAGE FUELED HATRED TO SEND THEIR OPPONENTS INTO THE OBLIVION OF HELLLLLLLL AS



BEGINSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

So What the Hell Did That All Mean?
In the bottom of this, you will comment with one name of an eAmerican, famous or otherwise, that you would like to see compete over the course of Gnilraps' term in this "two men enter, one man leave" style deathmatch tournament for glory, eternal adoration, and (of course) some gold.

How much gold you ask?

At the end of the tournament, the last man standing gets 50 gold.

That's right, you heard me.

The last person standing after all is said and done get's fifty gold and will forever be known in history as King of the Thunderdome.

There is no second place.

Two men enter, one man leaves.

So now you may be asking yourself...

Well How Can I Benefit From All This?
I'm glad you asked! As previously stated in this article, you are to comment with the name of who you want to see entered into this tournament. It can be any name you want, so long as they were a citizen at one point. They can be living, dead, or even yourself.

Just. One. Name.

The 32 names that get voted for the most (and you can vote for as many names as you like) will be put into this tournament.

Now here's the part that interests you: if you put one name into this tournament that makes it onto the bracket, then you are entered into a very special lottery. The winner of this lottery will be announced in the coronation article.

Now Here's Where Things Get Interesting
You may be wondering "how is the winner of each round picked?" You may also be wondering "since when did Aramec become to kitschy?" The answer to the second question is f*ck you, and the answer to the first is "keep reading!"

I, along with my crack team of Departmental Employees, will capture each fight that occurs in the Thunderdome and descriptively transcribe the fight into an article.

You, the audience, will then decide who won the fight by (say it with me) commenting with the name of who you want to see win the round. In the next article, the winner will be announced, and one lucky person who voted for that winner will receive 5 gold via comment lottery.

So. To recap.

Comment in this article with one name you want to compete, and the competitors and bracket will be announced in the next article.

Comment.

Get gold.

See awesome fights.

THUNDERDOOOOOOOMMMMMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

...aight, here's Susan.