[Dental Corps] Tough as molars, hard as enamel

Day 2,080, 12:06 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by The Vagabonds





Good evening, patients, Dental Surgeon Butjam speaking to you on behalf of our retinue, in regards to the recent MU tournament. A tournament like this allows us to assess the effectiveness of our worldwide dental operations, as well as our competitors.

Firstly, you can find all the data used in our rough assessment here

As you may have noticed from browsing the document, we have decided to highlight ourselves in red. “Why?” you cry, “Is your ego that big or are you afraid that you’ll lose yourself all the way down there in 73rd?”. Actually, you’ll find that we are more than deserving of a highlight thanks to the impressive 106.77 million damage that we hit per member.


The eWorld is prepped for the arrival of the dentists

“Hang on you cheeky gits, that’s not even the best on here!” You have us there. Actually, the top two units for damage per soldier in the world are these hardcore chaps from Bulgaria, hitting 2,680kk with only 12 of them, at an astonishing average of 223.33 million per member, and the ever impressive Angry Angels, sporting three Titan ranked tanks, and just as many elite citizens, hitting 7511kk with only 36 of them, 208.64 million per member by our books.

Whilst those numbers are impressive, one has to remember that Angry Angels were carried from 63rd place, all the way up to 50th (and elite unit status) by Waynekerr’s favourite supertank, Xanthar Zaiban the Kiwi Titan. Adjusting for a unit missing him, the Angry Angels are just below the RADC on 106.5 million per member. Applying the rule of “You hit over one billion, how is that even possible???” to our Bulgarian competitors too, we see an average of an impressive 125.85 million per member.



So what does this tell us? That discluding people who can hit over 1 billion damage on their own, The Royal Army Dental Corps, based in the humble eUnited Kingdom have the biggest pound for pound damage of any TWO Military Unit, falling only to second worldwide. In fact, even when including people stronger than entire countries, we hold 2nd and 3rd place respectively. Of course, this is just taken from the top 100 worldwide units by total damage over the course of the competition, but a little extrapolation never hurt anybody...


Dentistry, not hurting anybody...

It’s not always about us...
Despite the fact that the Dentists are made up of the best, brightest and most intelligent folk around, it can be a little tempting to talk about ourselves too much. However, what one cannot forget is that the potential for dentistry is within everyone,even if it is buried deep inside under some sTUPidity. That said, we would like to formally announce the honorary Dentist certification to the following players:

Talon Karrde
Ayame Crocodile
Teppishc
Emergy Maxfell
ApronChef

All four are cool cats of the highest order and full confidence is found in their surgical abilities. To finish off our pleasant little section about how there’s probably a bit of coolness to be found outside of our merry band, have some interesting numbers...

17- The number of unit names Butjam could spell on the first attempt

15.59- The average damage, in millions, per top 100 unit member

1,236,313- The difference in damage for the most contested positions, 84th and 83rd

8,270,985,844- The difference in damage between the top 2 units, the biggest in the competition. The gap itself would have reached 36th place!

2.24- The lowest average DPM in millions in the top 100 units, from Kuka i motika e Srbije. with 1636 members producing 3,672 million damage

16553491- Roughly the number of Q7 hits Butjam would have to do in order to hit as much as the top 100 units

827675-The number of 2x EB’s I would’ve had to buy...

2400272- The gold cost of all those bars...

547,259,615- The cc value of all that gold...

€532866.6- The euro value of all that gold...

£466539.10- The pound value of all that gold...

186,614-The number of pints I could’ve bought from my favourite pub instead!

We’ll be reunited one day....

That’s all for now, ladies and gentlemen. We hope to have mildly impressed you this evening and over the course of this simple little competition, keep an eye out for us next time to see if we can be bothered then...

Until next time,
Butjam, Royal Dental Surgeon







To all potential Dentists - The art of dentistry is a skilled profession. You can't just become a Dentist you have to earn that right by examination. If you feel you are eligible then request an audience with us on IRC @ http://tinyurl.com/dental-corps
Don't join until you're approved...
Oh wait, you can't!