[Day 1,290] The Pundit's Daily Ramble: How to be a Logical Badass (MDP style)

Day 1,290, 13:30 • Published in Canada Canada • by AugustusV
The Pundit's Daily Ramble

Today I got a chance to learn a little bit more on how to be a logical badass, or in other words, a member of the MDP (The Military Dictatorship Party) <--- not only does it have a cool name, but they also sell those already cheap natives (cigarettes) for only half price!


The epitome of the "logical badass"

We'll start off by analyzing a comment made by Muglack, who is a prominent member of the non-democratic ego-stroking MDP party, and who also happens to be running for CP (which is great because we always needed a Kim Jong Il to "set things straight"). Let's look at a comment he made on this article:

"There is so freaking much dirt lying around one could attack Muglack with"

Understatement of the year. The skeletons in my closet are packed [so] tight it's not even funny. But the difference between me and most other people is that I own what I've done. I don't shy away from it and try to hide it.

It's not a dirty little secret if you're the one making everyone pay attention to it.

Ok now listen up Slim Shady, I don't know exactly how many tightly packed "skeletons" you got your "closet", but if George Dubyah Bush came up to me n wuz all like "lolz I was just trolling Saddam, do you wanna re-elect me nao?" I'd tell that puppet-stringed hic with an undeserved (but handsomely paid for) Harvard degree to go back to being a Texas Ranger smoking dope in his daddy's mansion with his Saudi playmates.

Like seriously, if you wanna be upfront aboot being a r****d don't be expecting me to vote for you. Just cause you a truthful foo ain't mean you ain't still a dam foo.

Ok now moving on here cause time is money , and money is er... liquid assets...(bad joke is bad) k anyway now that we're done with understanding how to make one seem smrt and interrigent and obviously o-so-logical, it's time to understand the phenomenon of being "cool on the internet" (a fallacy in it's own right).

Now apart from this article over here, which makes suspicious sounding references to the MDP being all about "dics", this other article over here(if you don't wanna go thru the hassle of clicking all the links, that's ok, I feel you), directly states:

"Whether a New or Experienced player, The Military Dictatorship Party has a place for you. The MDP is a party that believes in a Strong eCanada through Military activities. We believe that the Democratic system takes far to long to process things [ALL GLORY TO DAS FUHER]. As the Saying goes, "Actions Speak Louder Then Words."

So if you're an aggressive player who enjoys fighting for this wonderful Nation then Join the MDP."

Like "OOOOOOO BIG BALLLLAR" (say that with an asian accent). Watchy kno aboot being an aggressive player? What does that even mean, "aggressive player"...?

This?

Note: Don't be fooled by the girl, the MDP is a total sausage fest.

And with Rylde ranting aboot how "There is no democracy in the MDP hurr hurr derp", then only REASONABLE conclusion I can reach is that in order to be part of the MDP that will bring along a "better tomorrow", you gotta do the following steps:

-Submit yourself to, and stroke the party elite's ego
-Lose all self-respect by doing the above ^
-Be a strong, aggressive player hurr hurr
-Fail to see the sarcasm when I say "logical badass"
-Get your name listed in the Urban Dictionary's definition of the word "tool".

And,

Congratulations, the internet now regards you as "cool"!!
K celebrations' over, go shine Rylde's shoe, wench.