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It is Lunch-time, and His Majesty King Woldy is having a soak, before his reguleé tea and crumpets, in the grand wash parlour of Buckingham Palace. The room stood on the third floor at the rear of the building. On the right hand side of the wide room, was a large bay window that took up the entirety of the wall-space, overlooking out into the Buckingham Palace gardens. On the far left side, at the end of the room was the Solid-Gold Bathtub that sat atop a small flight of marble steps. Next to the Bay window was a small table accompanied with two matching chairs, ornamented with vienese curvature on the solid-oak legs. The walls were decorated with marvellous paintings of the Royal Family from centuries ago (And a small crayon self-portrait by the Jester which he had blu-tacked on the wall). A long red carpet had been laid out along the marble flooring and up the small steps towards the bath-tub. Inside the solid-gold bathtub sat his Majesty the King. He sat with an ornate pipe in his mouth, puffing out plumes of thick vanilla smoke. His slicked brown hair was kept in a shower-cap with a Rubber-Ducky Motif. Over his lap, balancing on the water bobbed a chess-board. Only a few pieces remained, the bubbled water lay littered with floating pieces from the board. The King stroked his moustache with his right hand as he pondered upon the board. In his left hand sat a solid-gold cordless phone, the buttons had been replaced with cut diamonds. A true magical wonder of Majesty gone amuck.
"Well, You see Reginald, I only said to the blighter that his wife *looked* like she smelled funny, not that she *did* smell funny. Ppft, Bloody Colonials these days, hm?"
The King chuckled as the voice on the other end of the phone retorted. He picked up a piece gently in his wrinkled fingers, narrowing his eyes at the board before slowly placing the piece in a new location. He raised his view to the Rubber-Duck that floated on the other side of the board, wearing a small grey wig and a rhinestoned tiara atop it.
"Your turn Lizzy."
The Duck did nothing. Instead, it bobbed up and down in the ebb and flow of his Majesty's waters. The King sighed, softly rotating the board so the opposite now faced him.
"So as I was saying Reginald, I call dibs on the Nygungu fellow, say what you want about his country but the man can run. Well you know how it is, everything is 22 Miles away in Ethiopia. So how's that wife of yours anyway, still tipping Gin in her Tea eh?"
The King continued to stroke his tache, biting on the tip of his royal tongue as he scanned the board with an Eagle-Eyed expression, ready for the stratagem that would knock poor ol'Lizzy out of the waters, leaving him yet again victorius of Bath-time Chess.
"A Rash you say? Ooer, Well I say. Oh, Remind me to call the Doctor will you? So anyway I was down the country club with the Kraut and the Frog and along came this-.."
There was a knock upon the oak door that lead into the room. The King sighed, raising an eyebrow.
"Hold on Reggie, there's one of the help at the door... COME IN!"
The King placed the solid gold talky-stick to his left shoulder, watching as the door slowly swung open. Then to the King's surprise, a Young-Lady entered in a Maid's uniform. Her pale blonde hair was neatly tied up into a bun, allowing the sun to softly wash over her pale skin.
"There's a Young Gel at the door, I-.. Reginald.. Reg-.. Y-.. Y'breaking up ol-"
The King dropped the phone into the water, raising his lips into a smirk as he leered over to the girl who was now approaching him. He licked the tip of his left index finger and proceeded to sweep back his eyebrows.
"Hello there your Majesty" The girl spoke softly in a gentle Irish brogue. She slowly began to lean into a bow, but before she could sink into the position the King chuckled, shaking his head.
"No need to Gel, You've seen the Man in his tub, I think formalities have gone eh? So, what brings you here?"
The Girl smiled, clearing her throat.
"Well your Majesty, there's a representative from the New Era party, he says he wishes to speak with you?"
"Oh drat, it's not the slanty-eyed fellow is it? The one who watches those ghastly Oritental cartoons.
"Er.. Yes I'm afraid it is, sir. A Mr Go-"
The servant shrieked as the King flipped his chess-board over her head, frowning.
"Tell him I'm dead!"
The King promptly clasped a hand over his nose, diving under the vast sea of bubbles into his bath-water. The Maid peered over the Bathtub's edge, spying on the King warily. She let out a weak smile, stepping backwards slowly. "I shall let him know you're busy.."