[CHUTICLE] RANT - PART TWO

Day 1,719, 11:11 • Published in USA USA • by Chutley



Rant to Explain eRepublik – Part Two


Today I’ve selected a few topics to explain. This is part two of what was previously part 1. Here, if you haven’t seen it.

Ok part two.





What’s Canada?

Canada is that thing that’s above the USA and has people that are nicer than Americans but worse at stuff. Like most sports, science, and genocide.

Canada is also that thing that on eRepublik was a “bro” to the eUS for a long time but then started controversies along with the help of some other people and it turned out that they became Natural Enemies, which, really, is kind of a dumb term. Like a natural enemy should be one that, you know, is naturally your enemy so you dislike them for a long ass time. Not someone about whom you say,

“Hey, buddy, you just pissed me off so you’re my natural enemy but in two weeks let’s be friends again.

Have you seen the movie The Natural? Great movie, besides the point. Anyways, he’s called “The Natural” because he’s amazing at baseball, like, his whole life. It’s not like he was at home playing World of Warcraft and thought to himself,

“Hey, buddy, you just pissed in your pants so now you gotta be a natural baseball star but in two weeks let’s have no friends again.”

So anyways, Canada is also that thing we invaded because we got pissed about something or other and now it’s fine. Oh, also it’s that thing that apparently, according to shouts I’ve seen, only has bacon and syrup and there are lots of puns and jokes that you can make about bacon and syrup.



What’s the meta-game?

The meta-game is that thing that you don’t know exists until you spend too much time on eRepublik. Then, when you’re elected to Congress or care enough to ask someone, you find out other people “play” eRepublik, like, not having to do with eRepublik at all. For some people you could take away the entire website and they might hardly notice.

Instead, the meta-game is that thing that happens on forums (should be “fora,” bee tee dubs) where people make posts that are 10% of substance, 10% about the government, and 80% about who’s a “faggot,” or, “pfaggot,” depending on who you talk to.

What’s a n00b?

A n00b is that thing where someone is new to something and other people who have been around longer think that’s their fault and also a problem. Like, ask a question or say something wrong because you don’t know what’s going on…you’re that thing that’s a n00b. Like this:

New person: “Hey everyone, I’m running for PoTUS this month.”
Old person: “You can’t run for PoTUS you dumb idiot, you’re level 2 and a douche n00b.”

n00bs are also that thing you are until at some point in time you’re not a n00b. I don’t know when you graduate, but it happens at some point. So...all you n00bs out there – have faith. And no, you dumb idiot, you can’t run for PoTUS.


What are Q7 weapons?

They’re those things that are Q10 weapons. Moving on.


What are shouts?

Shouts are those things that you use to link me to battlefields that I don’t care about. Look, I do two things: 1) Fight where the link at the top of my page says 0/25 at the beginning of the day; and 2) Possibly fight for the eUS somewhere else to help out my quest to be a true patriot medal person if I feel up to it. That leaves me no room for what would be 3) Click your link.

Shouts are also those things you can use to write inane things and get responses if you’re popular or whatever the equivalent is on eRepublik. For instance, the other day I wrote,

“It’s weird that some of you are midgets and I don’t know it.”

And actually, that reminds me…isn’t that weird? I mean, I’m not making a judgment about little people or any type of people for that matter, but it’s a distinguishing characteristic for someone, isn’t it? Like if I asked you what you looked like in RL and you answered honestly, and were also a midget, wouldn’t you tell me that? Plus it makes your whole life different in not all good or bad ways. Just different. And shorter I guess. So why not tell me? In full disclosure, I’ll take a break from this to tell you if I’m a little person…





I’m not.





But if I was that would be ok right? Yes it would. Ok in all honestly I now have to read what I was writing above so I know what I’m supposed to be talking about.

Oh…shouts. Right. Shouts are also those things that tell you real life news if you’re spending way too much time on eRepublik. For instance, absolutely 100% true story: eRepublik shouts are how I found out Osama Bin Laden was killed. Seriously. Not joking. True. So if anyone asks me,

Hey Chutley (or whatever my real name is), where were you when you found out we killed Osama Bin laden?”

…I have to lie. Big time.





There you go, part 2 of my rant to explain eRepublik. If you haven't read it yet, here's the link. Next up, at some point in time, part 3.


Rantingly,
Chutley