[AM4CJ] A Cabinet And Platform

Day 2,599, 18:29 • Published in Canada Canada • by Acacia Mason

Dearest Subjects of eCanada and Feathered Friends everywhere,

Today I come to you to announce my Platform, Cabinet, and Ministry

I understand that one of our CP hopefuls has announced his Cabinet, but I see the one of whom we do not speak is sorely lacking a Platform. Not so is the case with me….tsk tsk "Other" Candidate. Behold…my Platform



I know…it is truly a thing of beauty! We should all be as lucky as I, to have such a nice, strong, enduring platform. *applause* *applause*

Now, I DO see that the one of whom we do not speak did announce a cabinet. Shocked was I to see that he chose "Cobalt", which is really just a fancy pants name for Blue…but lets not speak of THAT. Such are the trappings of the traditional campaign. Stick to "Masculine" colours in order to remain "Strong" I also see that the one of whom we do not speak, listed several individuals which he plans on locking in his "Cobalt" Cabinet. *hiss* *hiss*

I on the other hand give you MY Cabinet. Behold, all its splendour and wonder!



I know right? its BEAUTIFUL! With its rugged symmetrical shapes and solid construction. THIS is a Cabinet! *applause* *applause*

Seeing as Cabinets are for storing material things, I, unlike the one of whom we do not speak, will not be placing any REAL people in my Cabinet. My Cabinet shall consist of Good China and Fine Crystal.

Now, most importantly, I will introduce my Ministry. I find waste and bureaucracy to be much like diarrhea…unwanted, unnecessary, and usually full of…well, you get the idea 🙂 Instead, I will be removing and closing all official, unofficial, and secret government agencies. They will all be replaced with one single cohesive Ministry. Ladels and Gentlespoons, I give you, my Ministry:



eCanada, I am clearly the best person for the role of Court Jester. I have been soundly endorsed by the CPF, the Swedish Chef, Homer J Simpson, and the unsinkable Mary Chan. I am clearly the best fit for the job.

If however you find yourself full of doubt or any other noxious and disgusting substance that generally gets flushed down the toilets of polite people, let me try one last try to sway you. Every vote for me will earn you a free can of my favourite snack:



That is all!

AM4CJ - Surely You Jest

Yours In The Bonds Of Humour,