A Timely Bitch

Oh, hi Alaska. I didn’t see you standing there. You probably don’t remember me because our relationship ended some years ago. Let me refresh your memory...



My name is Mellie. The last time I was here, I went by the alias of MedyPalin. You met me in November 2008 when I became your Princess. You loved me because I was kind of sexy, with that hot librarian aesthetic. I loved you because I could see Russia from my house. I went on to be your Congresswoman for the first four terms that regional congressional representatives existed. While I was with you, I was given some mad props and was even voted the Best Congresswoman by my peers.

After a while, I decided we needed to break up. Together we did great things like create a budget, create the Speaker of the House, and create the Select Committee on Intelligence. We had a lot of really good times, but I needed a break. So, I broke up with you while I was doing a multitude of jobs in the executive branch, like Vice President and Chief of Staff. After that I took some time to serve in the military, and then I traveled abroad after that time GLaDOS got jealous of our relationship and decided to fight you. I stayed in the UK, Japan, and Portugal. Come to think of it, I liked the UK so much I went back a second time.

Now that I see you again, Alaska, I realize that I’ve made a great mistake. I still have feelings for you, and I would like to give it another go. So, as long as you and I are still here on the 25th, what do you say--can we give it another go?


Kisses,







If y’all want to read anymore about me, feel free to read my wiki.