A Timely Bitch

Oh, hi Alaska. I didn’t see you standing there. You probably don’t remember me because our relationship ended some years ago. Let me refresh your memory...



My name is Mellie. The last time I was here, I went by the alias of MedyPalin. You met me in November 2008 when I became your Princess. You loved me because I was kind of sexy, with that hot librarian aesthetic. I loved you because I could see Russia from my house. I went on to be your Congresswoman for the first four terms that regional congressional representatives existed. While I was with you, I was given some mad props and was even voted the Best Congresswoman by my peers.

After a while, I decided we needed to break up. Together we did great things like create a budget, create the Speaker of the House, and create the Select Committee on Intelligence. We had a lot of really good times, but I needed a break. So, I broke up with you while I was doing a multitude of jobs in the executive branch, like Vice President and Chief of Staff. After that I took some time to serve in the military, and then I traveled abroad after that time GLaDOS got jealous of our relationship and decided to fight you. I stayed in the UK, Japan, and Portugal. Come to think of it, I liked the UK so much I went back a second time.

I finally made it back to the USA this summer, and I was your Congresswoman until my computer blew up. Well, now that I see you again, Alaska, I realize that I miss you a lot. I still have feelings for you, and I would like to give it another go. So, as long as you and I are still here on the 25th, what do you say--can we give it another go? If we make this work, we might be able to give the brave men and women of the eUSA what they've been asking for this Christmas: moar Mellie.


Kisses,






If y’all want to read anymore about me, feel free to read my wiki.