[The Definitive Investigation] Have I been racist? Who's fault is it?

Day 3,861, 13:22 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Rob the Bruce
To begin, a summary of what has happened with the context stripped away:

1. Congress chats have previously always allowed a bit of a meme here and there
2. This congress, Spite suddenly decides that is no longer the case
3. Congressmen doing what congressmen have done for literally years is suddenly completely unacceptable, and a proportion of congress suddenly agrees.
4. Some PCP men made a few jokes, and it was suddenly okay to remove an entire party, even though any previous time that has happened has been highly controversial. Like srsly. They let me run congress unelected the last time a CP did this.

This has been allowed to happen again for 2 reasons:
1. Congress never remembers anything that's ever happened ever and always succeeds in making themselves look like idiots (evidenced by my staple article content for years)
2. This one had the added bonus of accusations of racism. This is a new one for me personally, but apparently has happened to this party before back in 2009. Heck if I know lads, I was like 10 or something then. It's a fine vintage.

Our CP's terms for person removal were articulated as follows:



Ignoring the fact that the CP arbitrarily deciding what congress can and cannot discuss has only caused trouble in the past (see Sir Humph Appleby's last term), let's analyse who's been cut out of the PM.

Us criminals have been sent to congress jail, which cuts us off from our fellow congressmen but keeps us in contact with daddy spite so he can tell us nothing useful. As such, I've got a list of all the heinous offenders, thanks to also being one myself. Allegedly. Here's the list:

So that's... the whole of the PCP congress then. Okay.

By Spite's terms, the following things are banne😛
1. Being racist
2. Being sexist
3. Any discussion of social politics
4. Any discussion of 'historical events', which is incredibly vague as history spans all time before the present. I've taken it to mean any real life history.

The list is slightly ridiculous, but that point's been done to death I think. Instead, let's do another point that's been done to death and see if anybody in Congress Jail™ has been falsely convicted.



3 people in jail said nothing at all: Michael Ludgate, Abraxaas and Zaphod the Kinky Psychopath, the latter of whom wasn't even in the PM. As such, they do not fit the criteria.

Suppose I should clear my own name next, here's everything I said, including context:




this PM the context is a bit far away from the point where I said what I said, but it's in reference to various members jumping on the fact that PCP people initially made jokes and thus derailing the thread far further than it ever would've been had they just ignored it and got on with their lives.

In short, I commented on how congress is usually trashy, and got removed for it. I, predictably, did not fit any of Spite's aforementioned rigorous and dumb removal criteria. But yet of course, I'm a terrible human being, right?


What I actually did was criticise congress, who as you may know aren't a race or gender or sexuality or religious group or culture or nationality. So, apparently there is an implicit premise present in keers' removal policy: If you criticise the state of congress, you get removed. As such, there are further removals that should've occured, for example:

Out of context criticism of congress that technically isn't a form of policy contribution, so Rorksen should've been removed, right? If I was removed, then yes. He did exactly the same thing. So was he removed?

Nah fam don't be silly lmao. He's still there. We'll get to who else is still included in a moment, there's a little more name clearing to do first.

What did Pannonian Nomad do? It's abhorrent, I tell you.

Literally this, or some variation, for all of his messages. A hypothetical about what we would do if certain eNations that aren't here were added. Arguably one of the first game related PMs sent in that whole thread. But nah, bye mate. Nomad's a criminal now.

What about Roachford, also racist criminal scum?

Right. So far so... normal. He followed this up with various one liners about other parties' activity, a dicussion type which was expressly permitted.

No, I don't know what that big black line is there for either. Something has gone wrong.

Then we have... something about cloning followed up by criticism of Spite's PM management policy:



I believe he has a point there, but whether he had a point or not is almost irrelevant when the later revised conditions for PM removal blatantly weren't applicable to him. So that's another false conviction.

Mad Pauly?

Largely this sort of spiel, with one extra tidbit about Churchill or something, and a little message about a potential eTel Aviv. Certainly nothing racist, which spite himself has conceded already:

>'civilised thread'
>congress
It's as if he's never played the game before


Arguably, if you assume Spite's ever-changing conditions for removal were a correct thing to do (which I disagree with for it's not the CP's remit to decide what congress are and are not allowed to discuss, no matter how close it gets you to throwing your toys out of the pram,, then the only one that really should've gone is Wayne. Sorry Wayne m8 but you did mention a religious group:

Censored because he genuinely got an FP for it lmao, but insert any two random religious groups into the boxes and it'll mean basically the same.

The thing is though, wayne's PM here is the baitiest bait to ever bait anything. Man coulda reeled in sharks with that if he chucked it in the sea.


And by god did they take it. Here's a sampling of PMs that by spite's definition(s?) would be classed as disruptive, and would've literally never occurred if people just decided to ignore some jokes and get on with their lives.





I could go on but I won't, this is already the longest article I've written in ages.

But there's two main points to come out of this long ass spiel:

1. Every PCP congressman that wasn't wayne didn't say anything racist or discriminatory at all
2. Many disruptive PMs were created by other parties, because they can't spot bait when they see it

But all of PCP were removed, and nobody else. yes boys I know what the new PMs are built like, we'll get there

So either it's a wholly political move with 0 grounding in actually fighting racism or spam, or spite has no self awareness, and pays no attention to what he says. Neither would surprise me, particularly the self awareness part.




"But Rob, who's still in the thread? Please daddy be correct some more, please god I'm begging you" -Possibly somebody real but probably a completely hypothetical human being, 2018

Well, the new thread in theory should be completely spam free, and immensely more productive than any other PM thread to ever exist, due to them all being plagued by the scourge of racist and irrelevant content. They almost certainly can't be exactly what Nomad predicted that they'd be:

Nope, not at all.


NOT AT ALL Oh. Oh dear.

I was able to get people from other parties to do 'serious' work for me and give me these PMs, so PCP garbage posting clearly hasn't had the impact TUP players believe it does. Irregardless, now I can do a little comparative piece, and see if what Spite says rings true.

Firstly, the apparent delight of everybody:


Key word here is all. I mean we can start with the fact that my none-PCP sources handed me some screenshots knowing full well I was going to use them for a hit piece. That would imply a slightly different story to begin with. But we'll ignore that for now. Who expressed their happiness?

Well we've got Arrlo and Spite, as you can see.

As well as further proving Pannonian Nomad to be entirely correct, we can note only Chemical Chaos here expressing anything like happiness.

Interestingly, the 'junk proposal' to the MoD was proposed by a TUP member, a Mr PalaceDom, who provided his justification in the old PM so us PCP miscreants could see it.

Garbage troll proposal. Despite this, I can confirm that PalaceDom was never placed in Congres Jail™. Just thought I'd point that out...

Back to people's joyousness:


We'll not count certacito as his problem at least appears to be with out CP rather than the PCP congress, which means 2 people. So far we have... 5. That's five people in the PM out of thirty-three. Also still proving Pannonian right

Normally I'd also point out that wingfield has a history of not being able to take any jokes in congress, ever, context be damned, but that's not an argument anymore apparently so we shan't. wait hold on I've pulled a spite

But wait, there's more:


Oh wait, there's no delight here. An important point from AMD though, King William the 'Great' was also never removed from PMs, despite some... colourful opinions in the previous thread.


Really he should've been removed with the rest of us, but naturally wasn't, because of course he wasn't.

He continues to disrupt the first piece of actual policy discussion sent to either thread (PCP managed to derail a thread that hadn't even put any trains on the rails yet, apparently. Impressive.)


Still in the PM though, of course.

And then that's more or less it for digging up both joy and spammers, in the PM screenshots I received at least. What I've received ends with dougal proving Pannonian right again. Yes, again.


By my reckoning, only one extra important discussion was had that wasn't had in the original PM, namely one on work tax.

Only 5 people expressed anything close to er... overjoyousness? Further evidence of Spite's overexagerration and borderline lying, a point that's again been done to death already in previous articles on this subject.

Before one argues that the discussion on tax would've have been impossible in the old thread, I would like to immediately beg to differ. It's quite easy:


The beauty of online communication is that you literally cannot be interrupted or talked over. Everything you say will be sent and will be seen. Diverting the topic from one thing to another is incredibly easy. The fact is that the new PM only managed to produce one extra proposal, so it's clear that jokes were not a massive detriment to output of proper proposals.

If something is not getting discussed because somebody else is choosing to instead make jokes about magnets or ePalestine, how about instead of attacking them for trying to have a laugh in a sodding game of all things, you ignore them and make your case for whatever you want to have a talk about? It's how congress has worked in this game for literally years, it is not difficult. I have done it for the majority of my 34 terms.

I was able to have a laugh while doing congress PM opening, and over the course of that stint I believe wingfield was the only person who reckoned I'd done a bad job. Almost every PCP president has done it. To a lesser degree, even jamesw did it.



Let me propose something miraculous: The problem isn't PCP, or even spam. It's easy to blame PCP for congress discussions being unproductive, but when the new one came out all the anti-PCP brigade managed to do was prove that the majority of their time is spent using PCP as a scapegoat while doing nothing particularly useful themselves, as more concisely articulated by Pannonian Nomad.

All TUP congressmen particularly have seemingly managed to do is ride the successes of jamesw whilst doing nothing themselves bar calling PCP morally abhorrent and reporting that they voted the way James or Spite has asked them to vote in a proposal that was self evident. There's not exactly a lot for anybody to have a serious discussion about when you've only got two decent ideas guys who always play it safe.

TL😉R
-Spite doesn't know his own opinions
-The new PM has produced little of use
-You can make jokes at the same time as having proper discussions
-Let people have jokes, and accept that congressional productivity is everybody's fault.

That's all, thanks
-Rob the Bruce
Possibly the longest article I've wrote in more than a year

Bonus pic: