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Uncle Horice has a tale to tell...

Day 1,871, 13:16 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by Horice G Fossil

"Hello Boys and Girls, are you all sitting comfortably, good. Then let uncle Horice
tell you a sad, but unfortunatly true, story of eUK Country Presidential election...

Yes it was CP election time once again in the slightly backwards country of eUK.

The Political Party's take a break from attempting to ingest the eUK population...

instead these monolithic political machines were gearing themselves for election day.

With the backroom deals done, the same old tired manifesoes re-cobbled together...

the party's are ready to wheel out thier official candidates to meet the electorate.

With a never ending series of trite platitudes they attempt to distance themselves
from their party's behaviour over the previous month. The speechifying begins...

'Ah, hello. Well, first of all I'd like to apologize for the behaviour of certain
of my colleagues you may have seen earlier, but they are from broken homes,
circus families and so on and they are in no way representative of the new modern
improved political party that I represent. They are a small vociferous minority...
and may I take this opportunity of emphasizing that there is no hatred in the my
party. Absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount,
more than we are prepared to admit, but all new and existing members are warned
that if they wake up in the morning and find that they may have inadvertently
attacked, another political party they're to tell me immediately so that I can
immediately take every measure to hush the whole thing up, and deny everything.'

Then out of nowhere a candidate appeared who was prepared to work with all the
party's. They wished to use the best brains from all across the political spectrum.
This raised the hackles of the eUK's oldfag political elite, so they vented thier bile...

'We don't want you in this election, do as you're fecking told and drop out, NOW!!'

The mighty eUK diety, Bob Boblo, shook his head as he looked upon the scene...

Political Freedom in the eUK is over. It's not pining, it's passed on! This
political ideal is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet
its legislator! This is a late notion! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests
in peace! It's legislative processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's
kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off the mortal coil, rung down the curtain
and joined the choir invisible. Political freedom in an ex-ideal in the eUK!



Sven Goran Duran-Duran
Sven Goran Duran-Duran Day 1,871, 13:24

Horice's articles are the best 🙂

mick cain
mick cain Day 1,871, 13:26


Grainne Ni Mhaille
Grainne Ni Mhaille Day 1,871, 13:40

Circus families? Well Enid Blyton made them popular over there, I believe....

lancer450 Day 1,871, 13:41

Horice!! VOTED!

CptChazbeard. Day 1,871, 14:11

Poignant Horice and veray veray funny.
The Real Spamicans will bring back political freedom \o/

Madacaion Day 1,871, 14:23

Truer words have never been said.

WayneKerr Day 1,871, 14:50

Now that is prolly the greatest article the eUK will ever witness...


Sexagenarian Day 1,871, 15:02

Well said sir o7

Alphabethis Day 1,871, 15:27

there's nothing more serious than humour, and nothing so close to absolute truth than a good joke. Since, people will alway laugh about something that is truthful.
This article is very truth. Nonetheless, many parties have hatred inside ( ESO comes to mind, for example).

Sir Humphrey Appleby
Sir Humphrey Appleby Day 1,871, 16:36


Ayame Crocodile
Ayame Crocodile Day 1,871, 22:42

So damn true Horice, I wish I could've expressed my disgust at what has happened during this election as well and amusingly as you have.

Whilst it isn't the fault of the other candidates, It is so depressing to see someone who, as part of their manifesto but also in her everyday behaviour, chose to ignore the apparent party divides be forced into resigning her candidacy.

Horice4CP, Mitte4Queen

mittekemuis Day 1,872, 01:13

~♥~ HORICE ~♥~

Zonmei Day 1,872, 09:06

Brilliant. So sorry Mitte.

Invalidation Day 1,873, 08:46

Horice best.

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