Got jokes?
Quimbie Muffins II
Hi kids, Quimbie here, I thought, in the spirit of playful engagement, that it might be a lark to have a thread dedicated to jokes, puns, one-liners, memes, any old thing that makes you giggle.
I'll start:
Your mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Whatchu got?
Kisses,
Quimbie
Comments
Right Here
https://www.erepublik.com/en/citizen/profile/3509622
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Aw my 1st FP in ages. Whatever will I do? 🤡
A seal walked into a club.
Yikes! his fate is sealed. I highly doubt he'll walk back out based on circumstances.
the biggest joke who likes losing elections https://www.erepublik.com/en/citizen/profile/3509622
LOLOLOL LOVE IT. RENT FREE IN YOUR HEAD CUNT. AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE LOSING MEDALS.
Nobody likes the *c* word and nobody deserves it being thrown at them imho.
He's inherited the title of village idiot from me. Long may he reign
Obviously you approve of his actions Majial and he represents all the qualities your party strives for as a supported CP candidate.
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I'd have to be an idiot in order to be bestowed that title. That's all you. Keep it. It suits you.
Unfortunately with the use of the current colorful language you have shown true idiocy. The village idiot title is stripped from me. Long may you reign.
Call a spade a spade isn't idiocy.
Whatever keeps that title strapped to your waist you do you.
Are you two seriously arguing in a thread meant for good natured dad jokes?
Grow up.
Actually majial if you want to get technical you started arguing with him first as you didnt like what he said. Just pointing that out there for ya so go suck an egg you uppity ****.
Again telling everyone that an egg has more appeal than yourself.
Are you seriously arguing in a thread meant for good natured dad jokes Majial?
Grow up.
You some of the stupidest 💩.
Yeah that means alot coming from the village idiot
Imagine a moron like you calling me an idiot. That's too cute. 🤡
Imagine walking around calling everyone the C word and thinking your not
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Sounds exactly like what the village idiot would say
Are you a broken record or just that retareded?
If your gonna call me retarded atleast spell it right. Village idiot strikes again
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you're*
Long may you reign
Hard may you fall.
3 explorers are captured by a primitive tribe and taken before the village chieftain and given a choice of death or Unga Bunga.
First guy says well sh** I dont wanna die so i pick Unga Bunga.
3 tribesman with the biggest D***s come out and f*** him in the a** and the explorer limps away.
2 guy looks in fear and says well I got a family back home I gotta make it back and picks Unga Bunga. Afterwards he crawls away.
The 3rd a young cocky buck defiantely says chieftain I choose death.
The chieftain raises his hands in celebration and cries "Death by Unga Bunga"!!!
Guy walks into a bar carrying 12-foot jumper cables. The bartender says "Hey, Hey! You can't bring those in here!". The guy replies "Oh, its OK. I won't start anything"
A crisp new $5 bill walks into a bar. The bartender turns to him and says "Sorry you can't come in. This is a singles bar".
Perfect DAD joke.
What do you call a priest with a law degree?
Father, in law😉
Punerific.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field
A guy walks into a bar. Ouch!
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt.
I'll explain later..
The nun says "Okay, but keep your eyes closed, I do not want you to see anything too personal.”
A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked,
"Sister, have you seen a soldier?"
The nun replied, "He went that way."
After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said, "I understand completely, and thank you for keeping your eyes closed."
“But, wait-how did you know I kept my eyes closed?"
“Because you are still calling me sister. I do not want to go to war either."
Zen koans for the Internet age:
If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating?
What is the sound of no hands texting?
If nobody likes your selfie, what is the value of the self?
To see a man’s true face, look at the photos he hasn’t posted.
Awesome stuff Quimbie! I notice you haven't posted in a while. I'm glad you did! We need the variety content.
I went on a bit of an international adventure. I get bored sometimes.
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How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots
ok that one made me lol
My wife's credit card got stolen but I have not bothered to report it yet.
The crook is spending way less then she did.
I only wear designer cloths now.
You might know him.
Kirk-Land.
What's better than eating a mandarin?
Eating Amanda out.
The best dad joke ever: I went to a clinic and met two plastic surgeons and a metal one.