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You are reading an article written by a citizen of eRepublik, an immersive multiplayer strategy game based on real life countries. Create your own character and help your country achieve its glory while establishing yourself as a war hero, renowned publisher or finance guru.

For a Great and Terrible President

Day 5,703, 06:28 • Published in USA USA

• by Pfenix Quinn

For a Great and Terrible President

FUPQ is your only source for extended interdisciplinary studies on the intersection of epistemological linguistics and musical theater in an eRepublikan context.

Sound track: Buddy, Can You Spare a Dime?
(George Michael, lyrics by Yip Harburg)

Looking back on Presidential elections of the past, let us each recall from our dreams that they were pretty much all good folks, even if some were bad Wizards.

Vote Pfenix Quinn for Country President

_{Vague Promises! - Free Ponies! - Rainbows! - No Flying Monkeys! - Gardening Tips! - More!}

Vote Pfenix Quinn for Country President

HEADLINES THAT WERE BURIED BY THE ELITE MAIN-STREAM PRESS...

(AP) Pfenix Quinn, of the Socialist Freedom Party, is the only CP candidate with off-world combat experience.

_{Rare photo of Quinn, left, his longtime companion Bill Galaxia (the well-known pizza delivery worker turned galactic hero), and a machine friend, fighting bugs during the epic Battle of the Emerald City on Helior.}

(Reuters) Old Quinn Accidentally Stumbles Upon True Nature of e-Reality Whilst Doing the Laundry

_{The iconoclastic old fart known as "PQ" has recently revealed that, upon falling asleep on a pile of warm laundry while waiting for another load of towels to dry, he dreamed that he was butterfly playing eRepublik. Upon awakening and starting to push more buttons on the laundry module, he realized that it could be the e-butterfly which was real and that it is dreaming of being an old anarcho-syndicalist fart doing e-laundry.}

(AFP) PQ explique la nature du travail

_{Autour d'un café, PQ a expliqué que la confusion des sentiments entourant la question du e-travail est la suivante. La notion d'e-travail oscille toujours entre deux dimensions contradictoires: une dimension d'exploitation et une dimension de participation.}

(Galaxy Science Fiction) The Parable of PQ and the Wall

_{A wandering player watched PQ while he worked at chopping wood and said to him "I cannot think why this wall is here nor what it is made of." "Rest your brains and do not worry about the wall," replied PQ, "when we have climbed over it we shall know what is on the other side."}

(Rolling Stone) New PQ Blues Cycle Reveals the Misery of Everyday e-Life

_{Peter Gabriel said, "PQ's unreleased blues masterpiece drones on hypnotically for almost an hour. Very much my kind of jam. It takes you there as PQ stands in the e-doorway and looks around, right, seeing nothing but a great gray prairie on every side. Not a tree nor a house breaks the broad sweep of flat country that reaches to the edge of the sky in all directions. The sun has baked the plowed land into a gray mess, with little cracks running through it. Even the grass is not green. The sun has burned the tops of the long blades until they are the same gray color to be seen everywhere. Once the e-house had been colorfully painted, but the sun has blistered the paint and the rains washed it away. Now the house is as dull and gray as everything else. Great song."}

TALKING POINTS for CAMPAIGNERS

Don't let zombie Reagan get near the top of the heap. He'll eat your brains!! Vote PQ to save e-humanity from a zombie apocalypse!!!

_{Recent photo of the e-Gipper.}

Ignore the bleats of sick trolls trying to tear up our team's solidarity. Vote PQ to ensure e-humanity is safe from the trite tattling of terrible trolls!

_{Artist rendering of puerile propaganda spewed by the revisionist US so-called "Workers" Party.}

Free Whiskey! Drinks for Everyone! For a good time, Vote PQ!