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I.T.






Ah, the enchanting dance of e-fate, where the ordinary e-folk toil amidst the whims and caprices of this New World. Plugging away day after day in the e-fields, e-farms and e-factories. If it's not one thing, it's another.

One day it's juggling the quirks of mighty Latvian overlords. The next it's a basement-dwelling cumsplat donut from around the block flailing his angsty social anxiety around in the comment section. It's a symphony of chaos, a cacophony of digital absurdity, where every day brings a new surprise like a box of chocolates, but the chocolates are mostly weird and sometimes talk about plagirism.

Truly, a smorgasbord of treachery and mischief.

But lo and behold, the e-fates are a fickle lot, ever-changing, ever-surprising. For every Latvian conqueror, there exists a peace-loving Iranian, balancing the cosmic scales. And for every anxiety-ridden keyboard warrior, there's a whimsical coot or a lovable lunatic, sprinkling joy in the comment section like confetti at a digital carnival.

Metaphorically speaking, some months you find yourself donned in imperial regalia, negotiating the treacherous waters of e-court politics just to secure a position in the illustrious Department of Bans and Insults Directed at Those Other People. Other months, the e-Government is practically begging, waving digital coins in the air, hoping someone, anyone, will grace the press with an article celebrating the wonders of its supposedly pristine democracy.

In this issue, we turn our critical eye on e-democracy, that elusive creature, occasionally sighted but often resembling a well-dressed yet perplexed e-chicken trying to cross the digital road. Please join us! And may your e-fields be forever fertile, and your e-factories produce the finest grade A e-widgets, for such is the e-circle of life, innit?








Ah, democracy — that majestic dance of participation, a symphony of voices rising in unison, or so we would like to believe. Yet, as the great Mister Y meticulously has detailed in hard, cold numbers, as we examine the ebb and flow of voter turnout, a peculiar shadow casts itself upon the democratic stage.

Now, we here at I.T., the beacon of unbiased reporting, the unwavering purveyors of truth, wouldn't dare indulge in baseless accusations. Perish the thought!

But...

Whispers waft through the digital corridors, tales spun by trustworthy sources, suggesting that not all e-citizens are, well, citizens. Rumor has it; some are clandestine automatons, akin to the "cat, I farted" variety, covertly responding to coded signals from enigmatic Gnomes, loyal only to our Imperial Overlords. Lifeless sentinels they are, lying dormant until the moment calls for their animated intervention to stave off a horde of savage Hungarians or to stove in the latest and greatest Chilean-Argentine collaboration for global supremacy.

Terrifying, you say? Oh, absolutely! Yet, consider the dire straits we'd face if the eldritch horrors of Greenland, brought to light by the MollyMock Movement, were to unleash their slimy tentacles upon us! The horror!

Hence, when all is said and done, and done and dusted, and dust in the wind, and the wind is in the willows, then let's graciously christen these silent sentinels as our "Wall of Democracy." A necessary evil, guarding against those who might pilfer our precious bodily fluids and such.



_{Artist's rendering of a silent sentinel protecting our democracy from very bad people.}

Yet, one can't help but notice the multitude of non-voters. A tad suspicious, isn't it? When a minuscule fraction "votes," and the outcome, by some cosmic coincidence, aligns with Preserving the Rule of Our Wise Old Leader, ahem, I mean, preserving the Leading and Federated Role of THE Party, no, no, I almost had it, um, ah!, yes, in the interest of National Security and Defending Democracy, it might, ever so slightly, give the impression that our system is not the epitome of democratic perfection across all known galaxies.

You catch my drift? Just a casual observation. It could give that impression.







Now, dear reader, buckle up for a riveting journey into the intricate labyrinth of our investigatory prowess. As we dive into the enigmatic realm of eRepublik's information tapestry, dissecting the nuances of our e-country's democracy, we've meticulously concocted a methodology that can only be described as the apogee of cognitive-pragmatic brilliance. In order to help our savvy readers dig deeper into these burning questions, we deployed a crack team of hard-nosed researchers deep into the bowels of eRepublik's information zone in order to sniff out the facts regarding our e-country's democracy.

To navigate this intellectual odyssey, we invoked the venerable cognitive-pragmatic principles governing phatic contact maintenance. This, of course, occurred within the intricate dance of indirect interpersonal dialogue between denizens of disparate linguistic realms. As our theoretical lodestone, this approach transcends mere methodology — it's a philosophical expedition into the very essence of e-democracy.

Now, as we journey through the axiological lacunae specific to our exploration — the depiction not of the victors but of the defeated in eUSA Presidential contests — we unravel culturally charged connotations. Yet, don't be fooled by the apparent esotericism, for the linguodidactic significance, detailed below, underscores the imperative for further exploration into these unconscious "semantic gaps", empahsizing the need for further serious research.







Now, let's unravel the tapestry of e-democracy, keeping in mind that we're delving into the intricacies of a game where pixelated politicians vie for imaginary power. Our meticulous analysis spans the years 2009 and 2010, a time when the e-USA electorate experienced its own virtual population rollercoaster, occasionally dipping below 1,000 voters in the heady days of August 2010.

Here are the semi-serious and entirely whimsical patterns we unearthed during this era:

The Compression-Decompression Ballet:

Picture this as an intricate dance, a waltz of votes that gracefully flowed between widely dispersed choices and those that leaned toward the top two or three candidates. We fondly dub this the "compression-decompression" pattern, akin to the rhythmic breathing of players toggling between satisfaction, dissatisfaction, or perhaps a touch of boredom. Think of it as the game's natural inhalation-exhalation cycle.


The Tag Team Tango:

Enter the captivating "tag team" pattern, where the second-place finisher in one month waltzes into the first-place spotlight the next. Sometimes, the switcharoo is swift; other times, it's a delayed dance. This captivating narrative unfolds in two flavors: a showdown between well-known and "connected" players and a clash between a seasoned veteran and a newer contender. We affectionately call this the "Big Other" pattern, a nod to Lacan, signifying an electorate's recurring desire for a formidable "father" figure.


The Joy of Rebellion:

A recurring subplot unfolds every four or five months — challengers from "anti-establishment" parties and groups. From far-leftists to centrist pragmatists and anarcho-libertarians to far-right icons, these rebels inject a dash of unpredictability. This included "far leftists" like Robert Bayer, CivilAnarchy. Jude Connors and Phoenix Quinn (SFP & friends); centrists and pragmatists like Tiamati (Technocrats) and Astra Kat G; a consisent run of various Black Sheep anarcho-libertarian candidates; and from the far-right end of the spectrum, Ajay Bruno/Pizza the Hut and chickensguys. Emerick's seismic rise to power stood out especially as a testament to the joissance factor, embodying an ongoing desire on the part of the electorate, often quite repressed, obviously, in the e-USA, to let loose, to "mix it up and have fun."




As our coffee-fueled investigation continues, we invite readers to share their own musings on how losing e-Presidential campaigns have influenced their gameplay. Stay tuned for more revelations in future issues — once our caffeine supply has been assured, of course. After all, it's just a game, and a enjoying a pot of coffee while the wind is howling and the snow is coming down makes everything more delightful, even eRepublik.