[BNN] BROFORCE REUNITED

Day 4,465, 12:45 • Published in USA USA • by Paul Proteus
"I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.”


Here's some tangentially related mood music

tl; dr
BROFORCE RECRUITMENT DRIVE: ONE SPOT OPEN.
Apply today to see the world, fight in foreign lands, and eat copious amounts of bon bons while protecting freedom. Inability to follow plans a must. 500 years relevant work experience expected. Must have an inexplicably strong opinion in the STATA vs R debate

Announcement: We regret to inform you the opening in BROFORCE has been filled by one Derp Y. Hoof Esquire.


Long ago, titans roamed the eUS. That is what the elders tell us. There were giants in those days that preceded the calamity. In the times before the age of dust, there was life. It is hard to tease more from the elders' lips, before they lapse into silence, their eyes flickering with a forbidden (but not forgotten) knowledge. Forbidden because it is dangerous to know what has been lost. Not forgotten because its shadow looms in every mechanical reenactment of debate; rituals that once had meaning, but now serve no purpose other than to cling to the ghost of purpose.

Among those titans were the BROFORCE. An elite team of the most powerful citizens to ever gather. They were rumored to be so elite that they often forgot each other's names, and so powerful they didn't need to train. Nations quaked at the BROFORCE's might. And then, one day, at the height of their powers, they disappeared. Into the cold earth. Into the cold void of space. Into themselves. Still, the legend of a life, guided not by plans, nor rules, lived on, powerful. And the wasteland society left in its wake waited eagerly for their return.


Spiderman consoling himself after his Broforce application was rejected


Still, it is written that "nothing is ever lost nor can be lost. The body sluggish, aged, cold, the ember left from earlier fires shall duly flame again," and eventually, even "the devious Proteus grows weary and answers Menelaus’ questions about his return home."

Eventually, we all return home.

Derphoof has returned to the Broforce. The triangle is complete

It is as Nostradamus wrote: Placed on the brass tripod / A slight flame comes out of the emptiness. Now obviously, any sane person would read that the same way. The Broforce is the tripod, because, you know, three of us. Brass clearly refers to our status as a fiercely respected and feared military unit. Emptiness...well that's eRepublik, can't argue with that. Oh and the slight flame is fiery doom!

Do not take this lightly. This is a threat. The Coups of the past are nothing compared to the millennium of darkness ahead. Fear the might of the BROFORCE!


Artist's depiction of Derphoof, Saraht0ga, Paul Proteus, and Aramec in Broforce regalia reducing the world to ash


Anyway this is also to announce that we are having a recruitment drive! Apply by mail dated no later than April 30th, 1889, or meet us in our Atlantis office from noon to 12:01 on Day 810 to have a chance at joining the most elite military unit in the eWorld!


BROFORCE
NO PLANS NO RULES
TRRBLY ELITE

Paul Proteus,
Commander of the Broforce