[USWP/Fed] Old Home, New Beginning

Day 5,416, 19:24 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof


On December 26, 2012, I emigrated to these eUnited States of America. I did so, at the urging of Fingerguns, Pfeiffer, and other eAmericans that I had known via ye olde IRC. When I joined the eUSA, I had a choice to make.

What party should I join?

I decided to join the Federalist party, and I decided to get rather involved. I got involved in Fed politics, ran Fed media, and even ran months of “eFPR”, otherwise known as “Federalist Radio.” However, as a person who is often indecisive, I wondered what else was out there. I had many friends in USWP and AMP, and often hung out in their IRC channels.

I was in college back then. I would often open up my laptop in my 8am class and open up immediately to a few things, as classes went on. I logged into eRep, eUSA Forums, Fed Forums, and Mibbit IRC. To this day, Mibbit IRC still has saved my chats from ancient days. As I was curious about other parties, I was in a ton of channels. Ten months into my stint in the euSA and the Feds, I received the following message:

October 8, 2013: 07:01:52: "WildOwl" Come to USWP. This is an order.

I decided, “f*** it, why not?” I joined the USWP, after devoting almost a year to the Feds. While I maintained many Fed friends, I was suddenly USWP4LYFE. It took a very long time to earn their trust, and to appear on the Congress ballot, but I respected that. I respected the party’s traditions and hierarchy.

It was due to the USWP and my friends in the Feds, that I became Speaker of the House in 2014. It was with their help and support that I held a variety of gov’t offices, from media to foreign affairs, to the Vice Presidency. Though I had run several times, both seriously and un-seriously, they wholeheartedly supported my candidacy for the Presidency in 2017. Not only did they support me one time, but I became the first American to serve six consecutive terms as POTUS.

I was forever grateful for their support and friendship.





Fast forward to 2021.

We had experienced a split in the USWP, and The 506 emerged as a force on the scene. This proved devastating to the USWP, and I tried to ramp up my activity in the game. I earned the position of USWP PP, and while I tried with what time I had, the USWP fell out of the Top 5. I tried to reassure my party that we were “Here to Stay.”

However, I knew the writing was on the wall. I imagine many of my colleagues felt the same.

Since 2008, the United States Worker’s Party has been a staple of the eUnited States’ political system. Many massive figures have taken part in our party’s history. Many presidents, VP’s, cabinet members, speakers, and more have been attributed to our party. Just as well, our party has played kingmaker, giving deciding support to many candidates.

Yet, our party was always a party of the old and entrenched. There was a reason that we earned the nickname “zombies.” As older players began to leave the game, our party suffered more than most. We suffered from a long crisis of activity, leadership, and membership. Some left for The 506, some eventually left for the Rough Riders, and some stayed behind in their old home. We were going to stay til the bitter end.

Now, we have reached that crossroad.

While I wish the USWP was truly “Here to Stay”, it has overstayed its welcome. It is time for the USWP to sleep now.

After 14 years of long and dedicated service to the United States, the USWP may finally rest.





The Federalist Party had been home to many of my inter-party friends over the years. Those of you in the Feds know who you are. Making a list would be obnoxious, and too long. They have been staunch allies of the Workers, even as we got smaller and smaller. We continued to work in coalition and support one another through thick and thin.

So, as our party grew smaller and experienced its death-throes, the Executive Council saw the Feds as the natural merging partner of the USWP. It has been discussed between our parties, for months, as an ever growing possibility.

So, it is with our heads held high that we carry our distinguished history to the Federalist Party. There, we will continue to shape these eUnited States for the next blessed 14 years of its existence. We will merge our memberships and talents, to become stronger than possibly imagined.

I would like to extend my eternal thanks, gratitude, and well-wishes to those who made the USWP what it was over the years. Those figures that came before me, those that I was pleased to serve alongside, and those that served as my activity died down. You have all made the USWP such a memorable home for me over the past nine years.

Now, it is time for me to turn back to tradition. Time to turn back to my original home. Back to the #FedPartyChat, the #FedLoveChamber, and the Federalist Forums of yore.

It is an old home, but a new beginning.

Once more, I am a Fed. I remain proud and horny.

Yours,