[Queen Derpy] Broforce Coup 2: Federalist Boogaloo

Day 5,538, 06:49 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof



It is April 7th, 2014.

The United States political system was at a standstill, with the new dictatorship module in place. It was assumed that foreign adversaries would soon try to use this tool against us. They would try to overthrow our government, steal resources, and cart them off to foreign lands. In fact, they would keep America down forever and make us foreigners in our own homeland.

So distraught was one side of the argument, that they sought help from an unlikely source.

They came to The Broforce, the most elitist MU in all the country. They knew that with the motto, “no plans, no rules,” we could be up for anything. They pitched to us a plan to defend our country with a defensive dictatorship. We only had one deman😛 to install Rainy Sunday as Queen of America. Why? Because it was amusing.

And so it happened. The plot was hatched, and on the afternoon of April 7th, the button was pushed. The first Civil War in the United States would begin.

We were crushed for our insurrection, as Congress won the day. Acknowledging our failure, we returned to our elitist roots and removed all conspirators and randos from the MU. We faded into the shadows, only to reappear for amusing purposes.

Long have we waited for an amusing prospect to appear.





Today, the glory of the Broforce has been realized, and our joy is full.
For today in America, a party has been energized. A devoted people has been arrested with zeal for Broship, for the sake of Bros everywhere. As it was prophesied in the ancient texts:

The glory of the Broforce shall be revealed, and all accounts shall see it together. This shall be a sign for you: You will find a party; leadership wrapped in adoring Bros. There, they will proclaim the glory of Dio. Together they will be proud, and ever horny.”

The proudest and the horniest has fulfilled the prophecy on this day.

Today, I have been certified as Party President of the Federalist Party. The proud and horny ones have entrusted the party to the caring hands of The Broforce. As it has always been MU tradition, there are no plans and no rules for the new administration.

While some in the party thought the USWP personalities may take over, after the Fed-USWP merger, they did not anticipate Broforce Coup 2: Federalist Boogaloo. We thank the Federalist voters for making this coup a rousing success, unlike the last one.





To congratulate this achievement, President Patanok has deemed it a worthy occasion to bestow on me yet another national title. He came into my office and delivered the following message:

“Declare yourself queen and do a crazy article please”

So it is written, so it shall be. As the President has bestowed on me this great honor, I hereby claim the Throne of Nave and Dominion of The United States. By the divine right of Dio, the peaceful one, I have been anointed with the Oil of Sand (Hot Liquid Glass, which hurt immensely) in the presence of Kongress, and have taken the following oath:

In the name of Dio Brando, I, Derphoof, Queen of the Americans, affirm, pledge, promise, and swear by these holy Books before Dio, the blessed Publius, and Speaker Bob Boudahili, that I will henceforth be protector and defender of these United States, according to my knowledge and ability, without deceit or evil design. So help me Dio and these, Dio’s Holy Books.

May our Dominion be vast and ever peaceful. May Dio confirm and sustain our continued prosperity throughout the ages. With all my heart, I wish to obey and consent to all things proclaimed by Congress, and give assent to our democratic processes.

I will keep humility and patience within myself, that I may better serve the people of these United States as their Queen, and to serve as a model for citizenship across the dominion.

My life is devoted to your service.

Her Majesty The Queen Derphoof, by the Grace of Dio, of the United States
Servant of the Peoples of the United States