[Broforce News] EXCLUSIVE: Derp's SHOCKING Election Call

Day 4,795, 18:21 • Published in USA USA • by Derphoof



This shocking call, seeking to overturn the results of the election, is a first in American history. By attempting to strongarm Congress and Plato himself, he is signaling his desperation to win this election. It is an audacious use of brute political force to attempt such an action. Yet, this set off widespread alarms within our national institutions.

"I'm confident he knows he hasn't won," said Speaker Paul Proteus, a Derphoof supporter in Congress. "We may have some power to change things, but it's incredibly unlikely that this result is changed."

In a long-winded and rambling response issued by the campaign, Derphoof assaulted the election process. He cited irregularities, voting complaints, eyewitnesses and bots being used by his opponent. He also claimed, in his words, that many witnesses had signed "After Davids" to be presented to Congress. Though he demands a hearing, it is unlikely that one will be held.

Prospective VP, RF WIlliams, had this to say about the results: "Come hell or high water, the establishment cannot stop the coming revolution. They may have stolen this election, but they cannot steal the hearts of the people!"

Live from outside the Derphoof Campaign Headquarters in Sacramento, this has been the Broforce News Network.