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Greetings eUSA.
Ambassador of eBulgaria here.
Was supposed to bring you this article a week ago,but as I got severely demotivated by the poor performance of the human race worldwide, and keeping in mind the not-so-heartwarming relations between our ecountries over the years, the article got delayed. I still want to provide a funny read and not some boring wordly salsa, even though I am completely aware it will probably get 3-4 reads at best. Point is, I was given the task to present you with a sea resort from my country, and whenever I'm set to create something, I try not to make it mediocre(no guarantees, however, while I really do try hard, the subjectiveness of the human perception can always lead one to consider any entries "disappointing"). Meh. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

OK, better not waste more of your time and get to the point.
I am sent to present you a resort from around here, and sadly for the persons expecting free publcity, am gonna be completely honest about it.

Slanchev Bryag (Bulgarian: Слънчев бряг, English: Sunny Beach) is a major seaside resort on the Black Sea coast of Bulgaria, located approximately 35 km (22 mi) north of Burgas in Nessebar municipality, Burgas Province.



Ha, took this paragraph straight outa Wikipedia. Blame that one for any misguiding general information which may seem correct to me at first sight but in this age of political correctness where even the slightest deviation of textbook definition usage offends somebody...you never know. Also, I know these names mean nothing to you, nor they provoke any interest. They shouldn't.



So, yea, as such you can expect big loads of tourists in the area, forming an epic mash-up of cultures racing together to drink recklessly... ahem, "party" to oblivion and (via their subsequent stunts) providing additional entertainment for the indigenious population, employed there as service personnel...which is the only legitimate way for locals to go to a resort(unless they have relations with organized crime, as in "money to afford it" , which in this country pretty much counts as very legitimate way of everything).




The place looks nice...at first sight. As it should, after all these locations exist to distract visitors from whatever mediocre lives they are having out there. And in my defense I'd say no, it's not very exciting to be some random CEO of some irrelevant company on vacation, or whatever VIP stereotype you may think of, spending money on cheap members of the opposite sex and alcohol of dubious quality. There is a very good reason we won't see human representatives on the next gathering of the "Intergalactic committee for solving universal problems". But who cares for that stuff, there we can PAAAAAAAARTAY.



I can recommend that visitors double, even triplecheck everything. Scam and fraud go hand-to-hand in that zone, just like everywhere else around the world. "Hey, these are some tourists over there, we can tooooootally nail these suckaz with overpricing and they won't know what hit'em". I did mention locals not affiliated with organized crime are poor, right? Well, lots of poor people tend to be tricky like that. Especially true for the taxi/cab drivers. I wouldn't blame them, however, as they are products of their environment. Cause and consequence, you just watch yourselves and avoid allowing people to take advantage of your lack of local street knowledge.



Pfff the good things...ummmmm there are attractions and themes of various kinds so long as you can pay for them. Scenery is decent. Beaches are actually maintained, unlike the rest of the country where we tend to enjoy black iron sand(in Burgas area) or regular dirty sand mixed with cigarette butts and other trash, along with a nice oily sea with floating human excrements...Hmmm how can anyone not like that... Really, people arrive here to go wild(and hopefully not get tagged on FB the next day while doing anything irresponsible). It's a den of debauchery, paradise for hedonists. Also, avoid walkng close to buildings(hotels)...usually, after getting drunk, many have the oh-so-brillant idea to go to the balcony first. Doubt you'd appreciate the incoming rainfall...



You "may" encounter some random monsters on their bar crawl routine at nights, and in their intoxication they might initiate a fighting sequence. Difficulty of opponents varies, but most often you'd face poorly coordinated opposition. They drop cheap loot though.



Make no mistake, you'll meet quite some friendly people in the country. That's normal, since grumpy personality isn't allowed to get close enough for a backstab. Some may actually be sincere though, count yourselves lucky if you meet such. You can be sure you will be presented with information contradictory to mine here by people with much more cheerful demeanor and who are, naturally, much more likeable. Feel free to trust them...or me, at your own discretion. You're grown people, can make your own judgements.



My fellow countrymen defo won't like my presentation here, but, well, not my fault they put a blunt and brutally honest person as a foreign diplomat...pfft, what can go wrong?
Caution:This article may or may not contain exaggerations, and/or true warnings. Have fun.