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Tonight’s article is with apologies to Sarah Palin, Yakov Smirnoff, and parter’s mother.

This article touches on what some view to be a very touchy and sensitive subject. Well, I feel it is my duty to touch you all very inappropriately in the very sensitive areas.



Let’s rephrase that shall we?

I feel it is my patriotic duty as an eAmerican citizen to provide an explanation and justification for events looming on the horizon in our nation.



It’s no secret that the eUSA and her allies (both in and out of EDEN) are locked in a titantic struggle against the evil forces of PHOENIX.

As free citizens in a free nation, we fight the forces of PHOENIX in an attempt to stop their bullying ways and save our friends, allies, and those nations who prefer to be left alone.

Lately, the tide of battle has shifted in our favor, and we’ve taken the war to the enemy. No longer are we fighting Indonesians on the shores of California, but instead on the shores of Sumatra. We don’t have to worry about Russians in New York, we’ve defeated them in Moscow. Hungary cries itself to sleep because Romania showed it who was boss.

In face, our fight against Russia went very well. In fact, I wish to apologize to Sarah Palin because I can, in fact, see Russia from my house. Why? Because I bought this lovely abode from a Polish soldier:



It was a steal! Those Poles sure know how to move real estate! And from my bedroom window, I can look out and see what used to be Russia.

In Soviet Russia, party votes for YOU!

(Apologies to Yakov Smirnoff...and props for your wonderful gift to the American people. In America, the people love you!)

As you may or may not know (well, if you pay even a little attention to anything you are well aware) that the war against PHOENIX does not end on the battlefield. For years now we’ve conducted Anti-political Take Overs (ATOs), which are operations designed to prevent PHOENIX or anyone else from taking over other nations by voting in proxy governments and making them into vassal nations.

Many nations, including Belgium, Croatia, Australia, Israel, Greece, Norway, North Korea, Chia, India, and even the eUSA itself, have been the target of ATO operations conducted by the Allied Forces in the war against PHOENIX. Month after month, hundreds of brave eAmerican’s line up to cast votes for the good guys in an attempt to force the Serbian, Russian, Indonesian, and Hungarian creeps out of office, often with mixed success.

Now the time has come to turn the tables. For months now, the enemy has been using various means to try and take over the eUS Congress. Well, no more! Now we show the enemy that the battle at the ballot box isn’t purely defensive!



Imagine if, every morning, your neighbor opened the window in his bedroom and fired a shot at you with a rifle. Day after day after day, he tries to shoot you in the morning. Now, the first time, you don’t really know what’s happening, so you fix your broken window.

Then, the next morning, he does it again. Fearful, you replace your window with bullet-proof glass to keep him from shooting you...only to learn the next morning that he can shoot through the wall of your house without too much trouble.

Of course, he can’t see you when he does...but eventually he’s going to hit you just by luck.

You have two options: keep waiting to see if he’ll finally get lucky and kill you one morning or you stop him from shooting at you. There’s only one way to do that. Take the fight to him...whether you grab your own gun or call the cops, you have to take the fight to his house.



Only an idiot (actually, a dead idiot) would choose the first option. And that’s what eAmerica is doing.

We aren’t going to wait for the inevitable screw-up that will give PHOENIX the opportunity to take over our Congress and destroy our great nation. No, we aren’t weakling to cower helplessly against the inevitable powers of time and fate.



We are eAmericans and we do not surrender! We didn’t surrender when Indonesia took California! We didn’t surrender when our allies in the United Kingdom betrayed us! We didn’t surrender when Florida was an island of freedom in a sea of hate and tyranny! We have never surrendered and we never will!

We freaked Indonesia out by showing them that they weren’t an impregnable fortress. That, given the desire to do so, we could take whatever we wanted without fear of reprisal.

We scared the ever-loving crap right out of them and its time to show PHOENIX once again we can beat them at their own game.

They want to PTO the United States? Well then, we’ll just PTO Russia, a bastion of PHOENIX power. The forces of EDEN and the United States will descend upon the Siberian steppes on November 25th, and we will cast our votes at the ballot box and we will take Russia as our own and show them that two can play the game

Once Russia has become our vassal nation, the United States and her allies will have shown that PTOs will no stop us. Then, perhaps then, the nations of PHOENIX would be willing to compromise and give up their PTO attempts in the US and elsewhere. And if they don’t, we’ll just have to beat them again and again and again. Why?

Because America doesn’t forgive her enemies. She makes them pay for their misdeeds.



Just as we fight on the battlefield, we must fight at the ballot box, both to defend ourselves and to attack our enemies. The upcoming PTO of Russia is the best opportunity for the United States to ensure her own security in the New World. True American patriots should stand ready to move and vote for approved candidates.

So, I call upon the American people to contact their party president today and ask how they can volunteer to help in the fight against Russia.

Remember, its not about you...its about us. It’s about the US.

My name is Cromstar, and I’m an eUS patriot.

"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

PS. I wish to apologize to parter’s mom. Rumor has it that her house was recently repossessed by the bank. Probably because Russia needs the money to keep from sucking.