What this country needs now

Day 3,262, 02:11 Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom by VoodooMike71


Today is Congress election day.

Yeah … I know … I was surprised too.


This is my “what do you mean there’s an election today?” face


The reason I’m surprised is because NOT ONE OF THE TOP FIVE PARTIES HAVE BOTHERED WRITING AN ELECTION ARTICLE BEGGING ASKING ME FOR MY VOTE.

Or your vote.

Or anyone’s fecking vote.


Huh? HUH?


Simply not good enough chaps. Not good enough at all.


ESO telling off the naughty scamps from URPK, PUT, BAPS, RWP and PUKE (or whatever the hell they’re all called)


We need a solution, and we need one fast. And … luckily … there is one. And it’s easy.

As previously highlighted the current top five parties are, without exception, a waste of time. So if you’re a member of UKRP, TUP, BP, WRP or UKPP, simply leave. Now.

And come and join ESO instead.

Because if you join ESO you'll help us get into the top five. And when we're in the top five things will change (for the better, obviously). For a start, you won't see an empty media on election day. And there'll be so much more good stuff on top of that. Clearly I'm not going to tell you what that good stuff will be - you have to join us to find out.

Secretly you've been wanting to join ESO anyway, because deep down you just know that ESO is the warm, comforting, fun-filled home for which you’ve been searching. And we understand that - in the past - you’ve been nervous about leaving your current party and joining us in ESO. Walking up to the cool kids and asking if you can play too is always tough. But don’t be afraid - we really are as welcoming and friendly (but not in a creepy way) as we seem. With a PP called Sir Jimmy Savile we have to be.

So, it’s time to cast aside the chains of familiarity and bury the burden of inertia. It’s time to do something for both yourself and your country.

It’s time to join ESO.

Because ESO is love.






Carlton is one of ESO’s longest-standing members. And just look at how happy he is.