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ATTENTION! ATTENTION!!

It has come to my attention that some of you are eating more than your fair share of smaller fish.

Now, as a reminder, it is true that the good Lord made fish swim in school’s in order to better organize our food supply. We can all imagine how long it would take to eat if we had to swim all over the ocean to satiate the demands of our bellies, chasing each individual little fish. But since this is not the order of things, we easily devour our share in large gulps, and move onto other things.

But some of you have been taking advantage of this system, and gulping more than once, or even twice, reaping great havoc with the little fellow’s synchronized swimming practices. And even competitions, for goodness sake.

The local small fish communities are very upset, and have asked me to pass along this friendly reminder that things work best when we all follow the rule of moderation. Additionally, this moderation allows most schools to continue uninterrupted their studies, easily, almost imperceptibly, losing just a few hundred school chums per feeding. When we eat more than just a few hundred of the little squirts, the others are forced to swim through the mess of the guts and bones of their classmates. Imagine running into your pals dying body parts while trying to stay focused on the rhythm and synchronization. Its plain disruptive.

Please show respect for your food, and eat in moderation.