Political Crap and Other Fecal Matter

Day 1,957, 18:29 Published in Netherlands Poland by PariahDog

With all the political crap going on, I would like to point out an issue concerning many funny articles that point out there is a lot of political crap going on. There is always political crap going on. It is kind of the nature of the game, you see.


Why the shit do all these shitty images of shit have a shitty watermark on them. Like anyone would ever use them for shit other than writing shitty articles.

This game is designed to emulate a steaming pile of shit you can dump money into, and it brilliantly emphasizes the fact that, yes, you can argue over a turd. Every election period a new leader is placed into power to defecate over all that what has been established by the previous one, provided it actually is someone else for a change. In the end, we are presented with a mixture of manure propelling out of the arsehole we call our country, dripping ever so slightly off the world map as a more effective and sticky form of pink excrement covers it.

Oh, let me not even begin about all that new diarrhea spewed out by the eRepublik development team. They must be typing the entire library of code with their arses, as I can't possibly fathom the extent of shit-funneling that must be going on in order to power the anal output we are presented with.

Just look to your left at the latest bowel movement. Gold mines, being so pathetically imbalanced it would not surprise me if it was all just a crappy april fools joke. It is as if their game designers in blind hemorrhoid rage spread their bumcheeks and went haywire over the latest game mechanics. The developers, subsequently having to interpret the dung covered design documentation, butt butter up their hands for a more firm grip as they land their assholes carefully on their keyboards and type away until their bowels are empty.

And as the glorious rectum warriors we are, we wade through these heaps of posterior-ejaculate in order to find something to complain about.

For those very new readers of mine, I welcome you to the Dog's Digest. Like most excrement, I am firm. Firm in believing that the name of my paper stands for something my articles should revolve around. And as any good digestive tract, at the end what is awaiting you is nothing but a glorious pile of yesterday's dinner. Except it has lost its olfactorial appeal. On that note, if I could convey smell through words you, my dear readers and eRepublik players, would feel right at home in this article.

Talking about food. Have you ever spent your time experimenting with food, just to end up with something that looks and tastes utterly horrible? Something that will likely come out of your stomach the same shape, form, and smell it went in? You grievingly look at the results, apologizing to all the individual ingredients for what you have done to them, thinking of what it could have been? Well, if eRepublik is synonymous with food, then all I can think about is of what it will become. Even shittier than it already is. Except eRep is much harder to flush down the toilet, because you're afraid it will get stuck in the drain and flood your goddamn bathroom, covering you in a sea of shame and what-could-have-beens-but-never-will-be.

In conclusion, when complaining about crap, be it political or otherwise, you are just stating the blatantly obvious. All you're doing is removing the political from political crap, and then all we're left with is just crap. And if you think this article would be any different, you are shit out of luck.