Its Been a Long, Long Time

Day 1,576, 17:07 Published in USA USA by Cromstar

It's now been over 200 days since I wrote my previous article...mostly because I'm insufferably lazy and unmotivated by the modern media module.

However, I can no longer constrain myself and remain silent. Dark tidings on the horizons, my friends. As members of the Federalist Party are likely already aware, I've won our party primary and am the Party President-elect. That makes me glad.

But all is not rosy in the kingdom, my friends! Some detestable swine have called on their fellow Feds to join a revolution and overthrow the party system with a deliberate coup!

First, I'm going to let John Lennon take the first attempt to rebut this call for a revolution. His response can be heard here.

...now that we've got that out of the way, here's my personal response to the members of F.U.N.G.U.S.



They have called for a revolution to unseat me from my throne at the head of the party. There's but one response to this treason: EXECUTION!

In the interest of party security and stability, these treasonous dogs will be hunted down and slaughtered after I ascend to my rightful position as Party President!



I've always wanted a skull-throne. All I'm asking the members of the Feds to do is support me against these desperate rebels. Those who side with the rightful Party President shall be rewarded handsomely. Those who choose to oppose me will soon wish they had not.