[UKRP] It's all Garbage, plus free tanks!

Day 2,618, 19:02 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by WookieO



Everyone else is doing it…

So the UKRP has gone a little article crazy recently. This is down to the election of our Forever Emperor, the right honourable Fataliix, who has immediately instilled in us a passion for promoting our party, posting naked pics of ourselves through our neighbours’ letter boxes and of course listening to as much Garbage as possible.


Shirley Manson...lookin’ good…





Admittedly my musical tastes haven’t really matured much since the late ‘90s, so having Garbage pouring incessantly out of the UKRP HQ’s speakers is literally music to my ears. Along with the usual day to day goings on in the party, we’ve noticed an upsurge in groot, a proliferation of randy patties and a significant decline in hamsters.



Like Joan of Arc coming back for more...the hamsters are merely biding their time…

The important thing to take from all of this is that the United Kingdom Reform Party is the place to be if you want to waggle your wanger, tinkle your todger or even shuffle your truffle. We open our arms to all and our legs to even more.

If you don’t find a home in the UKRP, then you must have stumbled into the UKPP by mistake. Get out QUICK! It’s full of spiders and clowns and tax inspectors.





I think I’ve covered all the salient points in this short article, but I must mention Congress before I finish.

For the last few months the UKRP has offered up unparalleled Congress lists, potential candidates that would have brought magnificence and splendour along with some chicken and chips to the eUK’s Congress. However we’ve often only secured enough votes to send a smidgen of the number of Congressmen through and so the eUK has suffered.

I don’t mind which party you’re in, but when the 25th rolls around, like Fataliix’s Mum in the bath, remember to vote for the UKRP and its shining knights. We’ll bring cake...and probably some cheese too.



As far from God, as heaven is wide...so the UKRP brings cheese across the world…


If you’ve gotten this far, then you deserve a prize! The first 25 people to comment will each receive 5 Q7 tanks for your trouble because despite my best efforts I’ve yet to complete these bloody journalist missions.





Thanks for reading, listening to all the Garbage tracks and understanding my needs and wants.

WookieO

UK Reform Party Secretary General
Royal Whipping Boy
Hairiest Dentist