[Appleby] An Observation on Irish Logic and their Colonial Masters

Day 3,321, 09:51 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Humphrey Appleby


o7 eUK,

Gentle reader, forgive me for an article so soon after the last - such activity is unforgivable by today’s standards. However after months of peace and barely a week after the resumption and victory of hostilities with our traditional arch-nemesis Argentina we once again see ourselves potentially encircled on 3 fronts against even more ancient enemies (oh, and Finland).

Apparently unhappy at our unexpected triumph over DON’T CRY FOR ME, the Irish and their Colonial Masters in Trumpland have indeed shed many tears. Thus, they have decided to act against this resurgence of eBritish Foreign Policy before we get too comfortable with our continental friends. Clearly we are a menace to the region for daring to help kick aggressive foreign bullies out of our home continent 😛.

Indeed, it is with a sad and tinny fanfare we hear the broken records of ‘North Ireland is Irish’ dug up and deployed to rally the good native Celts to the cause, all 3 of them...

Using their same logic, as part of the British Isles, All of Ireland is British. And much wretched animosity and mutual terrorism thrown in for good measure.

Now a year ago this would present itself as quite a major problem for us. On our own we can’t match the American raw damage. Further, we face an annoying headache in the form of Ireland and Finland contributing a minor but relevant drain and distraction. However, as our recent fisticuffs with DON’T CRY FOR ME has proven – if we can stand shoulder to shoulder in our co-ordination of defence with our friends on the mainland we can not only defend our rightful Isles but take the fight right back across the Atlantic.

The probability of wiping Trumpland is nearly non-existent. Instead, the focus of this new campaign will be to deprive them of their Allies on our continent and demonstrate we are no longer their backyard to freely stroll in at their own leisure.

Keep an eye on MoD orders and encourage the rest of your MU to do the best they can. If we can prove we’re not quite dead yet then we may be due even more happy surprises…

And just to make it that bit sweeter, a bottle of whisky for every region of Ireland we occupy by the end of the war!


Appleby



Beware the obvious dangers of Irish nationalism…