Well Hello There, America

Day 1,238, 17:11 • Published in USA USA • by Cromstar


[Scene: Exterior, day. A public street in a major city. The crosswalk light is red.]



Author:

Hello there, patriotic citizen of the eUSA!

It’s funny we should meet like this, here, in America…in the public media…where everyone can see…alright, its not so funny. It’s actually expected that we should run into each other eventually.

Still, now that you’re here, I’d like to say hello and talk to you awhile. I know, I know, it can be quite boring to just listen to a stranger to ramble on about something you don’t care about. However, I assure you that this won’t be just a random article about something you don’t care about.

This is an article that, I can say with a 100% guarantee, will contain explosions, guns, sexy pics, awesome heroes, dastardly villains, and an entire nation teetering on the brink of destruction!

It’s a little tale about something calle😛

The eUnited States Armed Forces



The new Armed Forces created by President Emerick has already begun to leave its mark on the world (and some boot-prints on the faces of some Double Spaniards). These soldiers have come together from all across America to join a common goal: blowing stuff up.




Now there’s a goal we can all get behind, right?



Already, officers have been commissioned and applications are open to any American who wishes to join the fun for community, for glory, and for killing bad guys.



The Army (currently the only branch of the Armed Forces running) is run by a group of outstanding eUS patriots like you and I, including:

Deificus, Commanding Officer


Alexander Hamilton, Executive Officer


CRoy, Quartermaster General


Deerslayer77, First Division Commander


Firo Prochainezo, Boot Camp Director


These guys have made defending the eUSA, its allies, its colonies, and even some of its not-so-allies their mission in life. Together with the men and women who’ve chosen to sign up already, they’ll be fighting Serbs, Huns, Poles, Double Spaniards, and many other foes of freedom everywhere from Florida to Croatia to Sumatra and beyond.


A model soldier in her Army-approved uniform

Together, we will fight until the enemy is routed, our allies are freed, and Croatia once again breathes the sweet, sweet air free from Serbian stench.



Some have said that recent happenings would make America weak. Frankly, that’s bull crap and we all know it. There’s always up days and down days.

From now until the end of the world, the eUS Army will be there to defend, to protect, and to destroy!



I hope to hear from people interested in the eUS Armed Forces, as its my job to spread the word and to talk to the public. I’m here to answer questions, respond to comments, and maybe even do some interviews about the military if no one else will (but you should probably buy me a drink first).

Look forward America…that’s where the fun stuff really happens.




Victory or defeat, we’ll keep on our feet.

Cromstar
Major, eUS Army
Bureau of Public Affairs

[Exit, stage left.]